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lisoccermom
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I've had it with "The Schedule"
Yes you read the title of topic of this post correctly. I've had it with the damn schedule. Not that it's going to change anytime in the next millenium but I'm going to make a valid attempt ... any day now.

See, the schedule was brought up by me. Validated by me. Now, I see the mistakes in it but I don't know that anyone else does. I finally had a screaming match with S the other night and boy oh boy did it feel GOOD. I'm not ashamed to say that either. She and I have been getting along better, some. I've been trying and she's been trying and maybe I've learned how to tune her out, some. However...... change is not something she takes to. I thought I had a problem with change! Compared to her I'm practically a chameleon. It may just be the one characteristic she and R have in common. The hatred of change.

T's dad was having surgery on Monday and on Monday and Tuesday (her night) she was staying at her parent's house about an hour away to help out. Wednsday is my night, when she would be returning. So I offered to switch with her so she wouldn't miss one of her days this week. Later on Tuesday when S came home from work I told her that T and I had worked it out this way and she was all well not upset but questioning it and didn't seem happy. Later that night when T called R and reminded him and told him about the switch he said he didn't know we had worked it out and wished we had informed him earlier. "Now S has to sleep alone two nights in a row, she's not going to be happy." Well. A "discussion"broke out between T, me and S wiht T on the phone. It wasn't pleasant. S kept saying how she wasn't "used" to sleeping alone two nights in a row, etc. I blew my top at her. R, wisely, stayed out of it.

My thinking now is to say the schedule stinks and needs to be revisited and instead of actual days of the week, have the schedule be every other night, or third night. And this way, no one always has Saturday or Friday night etc.

T agrees with me. But I fear she is the only one. No, I know she is the only one.

So, we shall see how long it takes me to convince S of the fairness of this new kind of schedule. Don't let's hold our breath.

Intellectually I still believe in a schedule, and emotionally too. It just isn't easy to stick to it all the time.
3 Comments
that's tough, i've been reading and trying to picture what our life would look like if we shared the same house.. thank you for sharing!
(i just now read through your last three posts, rss feeds are so much easier)
But I am not sure what to reply though - I think its silly for S and R to make such a fuss about her sleeping alone two nights in a row. T's dad was having surgery, you would think S and R would like to accomodate her and not make a big deal about switching nights, but then again - she's got 16years of routine in her system
I am too young too really form an opinion..

again, thanks for sharing! love
Well, to quote Dabney Coleman from "Modern Problems" with Chevy Chase -- "I think she's a manipulatin bitch".
Lol, everytime I think of "schedules", it brings SuperNanny to mind. She's a big one of posting a schedule on the fridge for everyone to see. Then, if anyones away, or out of town, you might place a calendar with the "schedule" on it, so that everyone is aware of where they are suppose to be & with whom.

Overall, I agree, schedules are a good thing when life is hectic and it does tend to keep order in a household. But then that old saying, "schedules are made to be broken" seems to always creep in there somehow?

Best of luck, maybe a round table family discussion where everyone plays a part in problem solving will work. Then that way everyone can have input and the burden is not owned by primarily one person, such as you alone. Then that may raise the responsibility factor for everyone, which brings respect of everyone to a whole new level, as far as having ownership in the process.

*Just thinking out loud here.