I can't satisfy Bill on my nights with him. Not lately, at least. Not last night. God, please let the pressure from the store be the reason. Please, please, please. And please let this be happening on Barb and Nicki's nights too. Wait, I don't really mean that.

(Yes, I do.)

Did you know Jane Goodall was only 23 the first time she went to Africa on an expedition? Do I need to get a move on or what?!? I was watching one of her movies the other day on TV and it was so sad. This one baby chimp named Roscoe was such a mama's boy. It stayed with its mother, Viki, like, for years after all his brothers and sisters grew up and did whatever chimps do when they grow up. Roscoe stayed and when Viki had another baby, Roscoe hated it. He would go crazy every time she fed the baby! He looked so mad. I was even scared of him. That baby grew up and Roscoe stayed and when Viki died, he was SOOO sad. I cried and I think he cried too. So did Lester, but that's because he has an ear infection and some weird diarrhea. (Why so green?) But the strangest part was, right when his mom died, like within a week, they found Roscoe dead too. It was so sad. I don't know how Jane Goodall could stand it.

I don't understand why women get so mad about their husbands watching sports all the time. I love it when Bill lets me watch Jazz games with him. ("AK-47" what a rockin' nickname! What would my nickname be? Maybe "The Great Margini" Not terrible. I'll get back to you on that. And when Benny comes over, too, it's so fun...what's the big deal? I mean, it's better than knitting, right?!?

?? Are there any suggestions out there about the problem with Bill I mentioned earlier? I'm going crazy here thinking about what he thinks, what Nicki and Barb would think? AHH! Someone's GOT to help me! The other day I was snooping around this tiny bookstore, looking for one of those sex books. This place around the corner from where my mom lived in Denver had a huge section of them, but nothing here. I remember I got caught sneaking a peek one day and my mom thought it was hilarious. She said if I wanted to read it, I'd have to take it up to the counter and pay for it myself. I didn't, but...anyway. So there I am, looking all through the 'self help' section for, like, twenty minutes, but I couldn't find anything except for this book that showed two wooden puppet thingys in all these different sex positions, with super-serious descriptions of how to do each one. Sooo romantic, right? I hid myself in a corner and flipped through all the pictures, just like when I was a kid! I didn't really learn anything, but at least I had some fun. There was another manual, a super-popular LDS one, but that was even worse. NO PICTURES. ALL WORDS. NO THANKS.

Whoever sent me that article about that guy that got his arm stuck in between those rocks and had to cut it off himself in order to survive, thanks. I couldn't read parts of it! too gross! but a great story. I can't believe he has such a good sense of humor! And he's cute. BE CAREFUL, EVERYBODY, UP IN THE MOUNTAINS!!

Barb and Nicki went with Bill to the compound and I'm stuck here cleaning up pee off the kitchen floor. Anybody wanna guess how many times the UPS guy's come to drop something off at Nicki's? I could hold a contest to see who could guess the closest without going over 'Price Is Right' rules on this blog! No. I'll just tell you. Six. SIX!! I went over to her house yesterday-it's not snooping if you're a sisterwife - and she has just a LOT of STUFF. I mean a lot of things. I have barstools. That's it, really. Stools. What gives?

I just found a yo-yo underneath a cushion in the sofa. It's bright pink! I LOVE IT. Ha! I'm not bad at this, either. It's hard to do sitting down. And it's hard to type with the string on my finger.

?? I had a dream about a place called Umatilla, Oregon. Does that place really exist or did I make it up?

I had no idea so many bands covered Iron Maiden songs!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bands_that_have_covered_Iron_Maiden

?? Are Luxumberg, Holland, The Netherlands, The Hague, and Prague all part of the same place? And if so, where is it? (I am seriously into geography lately, huh?)

Jeez. (Deep breaths, Margie.) This life can be really hard. I knew it would be, believe me. Bill, shoot...everyone...they all told me how tough it would be. And I believed them. I really did. And I wanted to be a part of this family anyway. Don't get me wrong. I still do. Definitely. I love family - Bill, Barb, Nicki, Sarah, Ben, Teenie, Wayne, Raymond, Lester, and Aaron - God bless them all. But, I'll say it again: this is really hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. And on top of everything, I REALLY NEED A NEW CAR!

Ok, got to run now. Lester still has that diarrhea. Bad. Will talk to you all soon. Hope everyone's having fun out in cyber space!

So long for now, internet.
Hugs,
Margie