I feel like a jerk sometimes when I read you guys’ responses and questions because I want to write you back to answer or explain or whatever, but I usually just forget. Now, it’s time…if you don’t mind. I can’t sleep. I know I snore, but Barb snores. Whoa. I don’t how Bill puts up with that. We’re sharing a room in Wendover and after her foghorn kept me up for an hour, I got antsy. I tried to go down to Bill’s room, but he wouldn’t let me stay there because Barb would be mad, so now I’m in the business center of this hotel in a bathrobe (if they knew what I was wearing under this robe!!)…not that there’s anyone here. It’s 4:16 am. There’s one woman at the front desk doing one sudoku puzzle after another. I’ve never really gotten into those things. Bill does them every once in a while and Sarah’s a wiz at them, but…they’re not for me. Puzzles are so overrated. Come on. They’re puzzles.
But anyway, I’m up and I’m online so I thought I’d get back to a few of my peeps out there. At first I was cutting and pasting the questions and then responding, but it was taking up so much room (and time), so I’ll just sum up the question, if that’s ok. Don’t be mad if I’m not answering perfectly or the way you wanted me to. Maybe I’ll change my mind later. Just what I’m thinking at the moment…and it’s kinda a strange moment. Someone’s started buffing the floor outside. The HUM isn’t helping with my sleepiness. But here we go!
spender1231 wanted to know if I felt that Bill taking another wife would limit the time he would spend with me and the boys. I really and truly do not. I saw someone else say that a fourth would mean something like 1.75 nights per week we’d each get with Bill. That’s making it a little simpler (in the bad way) than it is. Where and with whom Bill sleeps (check out my grammar!) is something we definitely talk about. And that conversation, from time to time, gets us riled up. But Bill isn’t just my husband the nights we sleep in the same bed. That’s the hardest part to grasp as an outsider looking in. Like I said, who gets what nights with him is an issue we constantly have to deal with, but it’s really a smaller portion of the whole thing than you might think. Bringing another wife into the family doesn’t divide Bill into smaller pieces for us all to fight over. It makes the whole family bigger…and that’s what, I think, we’re always shooting for…not individual time with certain people. We would have to work something out, for sure. The schedule is important. And even though we get all snappy about it sometimes, I think we all know it’s not the most important, you know? I mean. I don’t know how Barb or Nicki would answer that question…I mean…we obviously have different opinions on things. But if another wife would help guide us all further along the path we’re on, we would make the “time spent with who and for how long” aspect of it work.
A lot of people ask things about Nicki and one person even said they even wished Nicki had a blog. Well, keep dreaming. That ain’t gonna happen. But, I wish she would too because then she could answer some of your questions about her. She was married once before, but I don’t know ANY of the details about it because she’s as tight lipped about that as anybody I’ve ever seen. No clue.
ciana wanted to know how I thought my parenting style was different from Nicki’s and if her’s has to do with the way she grew up. Nicki hates that I have this blog and would hate it even more if she thought I was speaking for her so I have to stay out of that question, ciana, even though I see where you’re coming from (wink-wink. nudge-nudge.) I like to think my parenting style is lovelovelovelovelove. But that’s probably a little bit of wishful thinking. I’m getting better. My patience has gotten a lot better. Not complaining at all, but I was kinda thrown into the fire with Aaron and Lester so I know I had a lot to learn…fast. But I’m getting closer to the way I want to be. I try not to get out right MAD. That’s what, no matter what happens, I want to avoid most. When one of the boys does something wrong, I really don’t want to get mad. I can be a thousand other things (frustrated, confused, pitiful, overwhelmed), but I don’t ever want to be…just…mad.
Daine had two really easy questions: is this really me that writes this and why do I stay with Bill. First, of course. It is I. Margini. And two…because I love him and this family more than anything. We’re a family that stands for something and that makes me so happy. And Bill’s the head of the family. That’s not why I love him, but it’s still important. I’m with Bill because the love that I feel for him tells me I’m supposed to be with him. It’s really that simple. The feeling that I get (being in love with him), is confirmation that it’s right. I really don’t think—and I don’t think you do either—that what my family is doing is…“dirty”. Like I said (too much), I love Bill with all my heart. But I also feel like I was supposed to be married to this family…this collection of souls. Bill’s the lynchpin, and I love my lynchpin, but he’s not the only piece. (And you’re so sweet! You don’t have to worry about offending me with a good question!)
SanMango (great name, love mango) wanted to know if my biological dad is/was ever really in the picture. Not really, no. He and Mom split when I was really young. Then he came back a few times here and there for a few days before they were at each other’s throats again…then left for good when I was six. My mental picture of him has been affected by the dozens of other guys that came after him—for various lengths of time—so I don’t think I ever really think of the real him anymore…if I ever did at all. I honestly don’t know a thing about him. His name was Clarence but he went by “Loom” for some reason. I know that. But not much more.
Do I have any hobbies,
sara12 asked. Well, I do this…which actually takes up more time than you might imagine. (I’m not complaining, but it does. I always think it’ll take an hour and it always takes three.) When the mood catches me, I make a heck of a collage. I doodle. I’m a great doodler. I draw cool designs. I love stationary. I love stationary shops…that’s not a hobby, but…I guess I don’t have any real hobbies. I can sew a little bit. Oh, and in another life, I’d be a karaoke addict.
She also asked if I had any interest in starting an internet business or taking continuing education classes. Definitely not a business. I don’t think I’ve got that gene. Classes…maybe someday. Seems like a little much right now, but maybe eventually. I want to read more. I never read. I wouldn’t mind taking some literature classes one day. I’ve never read a lot of the classics. That’s not something I’m very proud of.
Profran wants to know if I ever thought Bill was too old for me at any point…especially when we first met. Honestly, I didn’t. I didn’t think, at the start, that we’d end up together. But I never looked at him and thought the age difference would be a big deal. Seriously. If anything, it was the boss/employee thing that was on my mind most back then. (and the married thing, I guess
) I’ve almost always been with older guys—which is, in no way, a badge of honor—but I think it has become the standard a little bit. So, when I looked at Bill for the first time, age was the last thing on my mind.
Where do I shop? (
sonzmell wants to know.) Um…nowhere cool. I’m a pretty good copy cat. If I see an ad or see someone wearing something I like, I can usually recreate it with lower end stuff. I’m shameless like that. I’m a whiz in a Goodwill store. Those places are gold if you have the right set of eyes and believe me, I got the right set of eyes. Two weeks ago, I got two skirts for me and suit for Ben that he’ll never know was a hand-me-down. 29 bucks. Total. Love it! So I go in places like Gap, Talbot’s…Ann Taylor sometimes. But usually just to look. I rarely buy. Then I go out into the world with a mission…to find that blue sweater that I love but costs $110. Usually, about a month later, I have something I’m happy with.
jasie asked about Ana and recommended I leave Bill NOW. Sorry, jasie, but I don’t think I’m going to take your advice. I appreciate it, though. But I’m ok. You asked how Bill could pursue Ana (or anyone else) when Barb’s in the state she is. That’s a tough one. I feel so sorry for Barb sometimes. She breaks my heart. But, and I really think she would agree with me, circumstances can’t get in the way of something sent from Heaven. If—and I’m saying IF because whether I want him to or not, he hasn’t—IF Bill feels he’s to invite another wife into our family, he would be able to explain that to Barb or me or anyone else in a way that we would have to respect. It would be hard for Barb…especially if it happened right now (which it didn’t)…but I think no matter what she was going through, she would see Bill’s certainty and would trust him. You might not believe that, but I do.
love4biglove wants to know if Bill told me all about The Principle early on. That’s a good question. No, he didn’t. He didn’t hide anything or intentionally not tell me things, but I think he thought all at once, a five paragraph synopsis (am I using that word right?) would be a little much. And actually, I agree with that. So when I was babysitting the kids and was in the house—the one—a lot…I started picking things up. And then later we had more a “talk” about it…but that was after I had learned a lot just from being around everyone so much. Trust me, after three family home evenings, your understanding goes way up.
storyteller88 gave me an extremely random one-two combo question: if things were different and he weren’t my son, would I be attracted to Ben and…what are some baby names I’m thinking about! Really, 88? You’re putting those two together? So funny! OK. Um…no, to the first part. (And also, that’s such a tricky question to try to answer honestly…it’s like “Do you think your mom’s hot?” Who thinks their mom’s hot, you know? It’s just kind of…a hypothetical that you can’t try to answer because you can never break away from how things really are enough to give it serious thought.) Baby names…I’ve thought a little bit but not too much. I like Mary-Coleman if it’s a girl, but that’s the only double name I like. I like Luke for a boy. Nell is another one I like for a girl. I like Nell a whole lot, actually. That might be my number one.
I am told by
Aislina that I shouldn’t keep the boys in the playpen as much as I do. Noted, Aislina. Noted.
margielovesme wants to know if I do, in fact, love him or her…I guess so they can keep that name in good faith.
The answer, of course, is YES, I LOVE YOU, margielovesme!
(Last one. I’m tired enough to sleep through the freight train that is Barb’s snoring):
Titanna was wondering if anyone ever gets an out-right A in Nicki’s sliding scale of personality ratings. NO. Never. Joseph Smith gets an A-.
Alright, people. It’s 6:10, now. People are beginning to mingle through the lobby and I still look like…a crazy person in a bathrobe. Time for sleepy now. Sleep tight, internet. Sleepy-sleepy…
margie.
Oh! Hey, I’m back. Two jokes real quick that I heard last night…before I forget:
1. What’s the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?
One less drunk. 2. What’d the Buddhist say to the hot dog vender?
Make me one with everything. You can thank me later.
