Hope everything's going alright out there, Internet. Pretty slow here today. It's early. It's 6:27 AM and I've already taken a shower. Respect that, Internet. I'm up, showered, and writing before 6:30...because I love you. That's why I do this. For the love.

The reason I'm up early is because I have an 8 AM appointment at the doggone DMV. Somehow things got all screwed up with my file or whatever, and now I have to go down there, sit in those horrible chairs, and not smile for about three hours, just to get my new license.¹ I'm bringing Jane Eyre with me to read. I've never read it, even though I, in the interest of full disclosure, did write a five-page book report on it in tenth grade. Shawad Resvoni had the Cliff's Notes. Those...um...those helped a lot, we'll say. (Oh, but "writerwannabe,"² yes...I did graduate from high school, despite this tale of corner-cutting and deceit. Unfortunately, Roosevelt High School was the last place I've graduated from, but maybe one day, when the chi'lens are out of my hair, I'll think about finally taking some college courses. Finally.) So anyway, I'm taking this huge book and I'm expecting the worst from the ol' DMV. But, you know...for my peoples...I had to do a little bloggy entry real quick. I missed you, and I know you missed me...right?

The "kids' future" question. As in: do I want them to "chose polygamy"...which, as a phrase, has some real shortcomings, but...anyway. This is a serious toughy...obviously. I don't really have some concrete answer for you. It's something I think about, of course, but it's not like when I'm frustrated in the moment about something "sisterwife-ish," I think, this is what I want Nell never to have to deal with. I mean, that's just ridiculous. I'm not too big a believer in the concept of "perfection," so I know this way of living has challenges and something that could definitely be seen as a downside. But that's so obvious to me that it's not worth obsessing over...mostly because I know that ANY and EVERY other path in life I might have ended up on would absolutely ? without a doubt ? have it's own set of challenges and something that could definitely be seen as a downside. I have to reserve the right to change this opinion, but for now, while the kids are this age³, I can honestly say that I'd be fine with them totally deciding on their own. I've never thought that this is for everyone. It's totally not. Hopefully, our kids see the fact that their parents all love each other with their whole hearts and that's what might seem attractive to them. But if they find that somewhere else in some other "way," how can I be upset with that? I do consider Bill their (the kids') spiritual leader...that I don't think about one bit. He leads the entire family spiritually, and I'm really thankful for that. I wouldn't have it any other way. And, in his heart of hearts, maybe Bill really does want the kids to follow our path directly. But I think this is something that all parents wrestle with...not just us. We talk about it...probably not as much as we should, considering how important it is...but we don't dwell...at least I don't. Ben and Sarah are at the age where things are more on the table because they're older. But, also, and this is easy to forget: they were both born before Bill and Barb married Nicki and, obviously, me. So, for them, and for Bill and Barb as parents, it's even more complicated. Ben and Sarah remember the transition into the family that we are now, and I'm sure that makes this issue even more complicated for them. For me, with our kids being still so young, it's something I feel will work itself out much more naturally if we don't push anything on them too hard...while all the while showing them how sure we are that WE (Bill, Margene, Nicki, and Barb) made the decision that was best for us...for the reasons that are important to us. Any of that make any sense? Hope so.

The Ana question. Another hard one. Unfortunately, I haven't talked to her since she left. That was so painful. I still love Ana so much, but I have come closer to terms with the fact that her coming into the family didn't exactly bring out the best in some of us...myself included, of course. So, I miss her like crazy and mostly just want to make sure she's OK, but we, she and I, haven't talked since back then. I think about calling her...more back then than now. But I just don't think it's a good idea. Us wives definitely played a big part in her "buyer's remorse" ? for lack of a dumber phrase ? but I felt like, once she left, it was gonna be something Bill/Ana related that would ever bring her back...and that ain't gonna happen, I don't think. As far as I know, Bill hasn't talked to her either. I know he said he didn't think he should, but...I don't know. It's really sad. She's so great. I hope she's doing alright. We miss her. Ana, if you're reading: YOU'RE MISSED IN THESE HOUSES. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

BARB'S TAMALE PIE:
Ingredients

* 2 Tbsp canola oil
* 2 1/4 pounds lean ground turkey
* 1 yellow onion, chopped
* 1/2 white onion, chopped
* 2 red bell peppers, seeds and stems removed, chopped
* 1 Tablespoon salt
* 2 Tablespoons pepper
* 2 1/2 teaspoons chili powder (more or less to taste)
* 1 Teaspoon brown cardamom (more or less to taste)
* 2 14 1/2 ounce cans of roasted tomatoes
* 2 Serano chiles, chopped roughly
* 1/3 cup golden raisins
* 1 1/2 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese (about 4 ounces)
* 1 1/2 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese
* 1/3 cup beef stock

* 1-pound of prepared cornbread mix
* Whatever is needed according to cornbread mix instructions to make the cornbread batter (water, egg, oil, milk)

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 375°F.
2. Heat olive oil in a large skillet on medium high. Add the ground beef, onion, and bell pepper. Add salt, chili powder, and cumin. Cook, stirring infrequently, until the ground beef has browned on all sides. Remove from heat. Drain excess fat if necessary (if you are using lean beef, there shouldn't be excess.
3. Mix in fire-roasted tomatoes, Serano chiles, corn, raisins, cheese, and water. Adjust seasoning. Add more chili powder and cumin if desired. Rub a little olive oil over the insides of a 9x12-inch casserole dish (or use a nonstick cooking spray). Spoon filling into the casserole dish.
4. In a large bowl, prepare the cornbread batter according to the directions on the package. Pour the cornbread batter over the top of the filling in the casserole.

Bake for 40 minutes, until the top is browned.

NICKI'S CARROT-RAISON SALAD:

* 5 c. grated or shredded, pared carrots
* 1 ½ c. raisins
* 3/4 c. mayonnaise or salad dressing
* 2 tsp. lemon juice
* 1 1/2 tbsp. light cream
* Lettuce
* 1/3 c. toasted, blanched almonds

Combine carrots and raisins. Blend mayonnaise or salad dressing, lemon juice, and cream; mix with carrots and raisins. Spoon into lettuce cups or over shredded lettuce. Sprinkle with almonds.

WORD OF THE DAY: http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/mwwod.pl

Alright, I gotta run. Next entry will be my tattoo story and my wedding story...no, they're not the same story&:

Wish me luck, Internet. I hope I make it out of the DMV alive. Fingers crossed. Talk soon.

- Margene! (I'm thinking of officially changing my name to "Margene!", with the exclamation point. Thoughts?)

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¹I just read online the other day that, in Virginia, they passed a law that literally made it so you weren't allowed to smile in your DMV picture. What the heck kinda world are we living in here, people? They say they wanted the "most accurate picture possible," but all they've really done is suck the last part of your soul out of your body after they've made you wait in their midst for about six times as long as it should have taken...and then won't even let you fake a smile when it's finally picture time. Unbelievable. Way to go, Virginia. I thought you were "for lovers," anyway. Lovers smile, last time I checked. Shame on you.
²Hey! I'm one of those, too!!
³While it's "easy" to be all laissez-faire about it...