OK, I'm taking advice from my internet buddy "notashot" and doing a few more family interviews. I had fun grilling Nicki and, like "ladycore" predicted, she loved it. She even almost said it out loud. "I didn't hate it," she said when I was luring her into my trap.
"Yes, you did," I said. "You were all squirmy."
"I was not squirmy, Margene. I had fu--." She caught herself. She couldn't say F-U-N. "It was fine. It was fine." Then she walked out of the room.
So not quite an admission, but it gave me confidence in a little project. I'm gonna interview this family! One by one...starting with the wee-ist one in the bunch. That's right. Joining me this morning is Nell Allison Henrickson. She's dressed quite professionally, if I do say some so myself. She has a polka-dot bow in her hair and a nice purple dress on. She's on the couch, sitting up so tall (yea!) and I think she's ready to begin. Like her aunt Nicki, we're gonna limit this to three minutes and Nell has one opportunity to pass on a question. Also, one rule agreed upon for this interview is that I won't use "Nelly-Poo," "Nelly-Face" or "Nelly-Smelly-Quite Contrary" (which doesn't really rhyme but I love saying it anyway). I'll try my best.
Ok, here we go. I'm starting the recorder...Three, two, one...GO!
Me: Thank you for being here.
Nell: Thank you for having me. Pleasure to be with you. As always.
Me: That's sweet. What are you gonna be next Halloween?
Nell: A skunk.
Me: Really? Any particular reason for that? A skunk's kind of a dirty rodent...
Nell: Well, they're cute and furry, so...that's up my alley. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stick with the skunk. Either that or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Me: Interesting.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: Are you endorsing a presidential candidate?
Nell: I like Ron Paul, actually. I think he's got a lot of good ideas and I wish he was still running. I wish people would listen to him.
Me: Do you consider yourself adventurous?
Nell: Sometimes, yes. But, truthfully, I'm a fraidy cat a lot, too. The other afternoon, I was sleeping and...I was pretty sure there was a monster outside my window. Like...a witchy...kinda troll-looking lady monster. I was scared. Then you came in, so then I settled in. But "adventurous?" I don't know. We'll see. I think I do wanna ride in a hot-air balloon one day.
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nell: Well, when are you ever really grown up, you know? Right now, I kinda wanna be the tooth fairy, but I don't know how that works. Teeth are on my mind a lot lately. Later on, I wouldn't mind being a sideline reporter and then, maybe, the Solicitor General.
Me: What makes you you?
Nell: Well, physically, my cheeks. I got chipmunk cheeks that people seem to really like. I think they make me me. But on the inside, I think I'm a good listener. People think I'm just staring, but I'm actually listening and I'm really good at it.
Me: Do you keep secrets?
Nell: All the time.
Me: On purpose?
Nell: It spices things up, yeah. Keeps people on their toes.
Me: You mean me? Keeps me on my toes?
Nell: Yeah. But everyone else, too.
Me: Do you have a favorite color?
Nell: Light blue. I know. It's weird. Not a huge pink fan. Did you ask Nicki that?
Me: I did.
Nell: What did she say?
Me: "Tope," I think.
Nell: I was gonna guess "Sand."
Me: That's funny.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: What do you dream about?
Nell: Candy apples.
Me: That's interesting. Think that means something?
Nell: Probably.
Me: What do you think?
Nell: Who knows. I've never had one. Probably just means I really want to try one.
Me: Agreed. We'll have to work on that.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: What confuses you most?
Nell: In a football game, when someone does something good, his teammates all come over to him and smack his helmet all around. I don't get that. I mean...don't knock my helmet, guys. Come on. [long pause] That and how a candle works. I've never really heard a good explanation of why the little rope thing doesn't burn.
Me: Time's almost up. I noticed you haven't used your pass.
Nell: I'm an open book.
Me: You are, indeed.
Nell: Nothing to hide.
Me: I appreciate that.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: And that's time. Nell, thank you very much. It's been a real honor.
Nell: Thank you, mommy. It was fun.