My blog entry on "cock socks" got me thinking about... FASHION!

We all know what the Romans wore, togas and what have you (see Vorenus in his laundry here), so I thought I'd blow this blog entry by instead sharing the cast of "Rome" in some of their more embarrassing moments, when costume designer April Ferry wasn't round to make sure they didn't look like utter twats. Apparently mirrors were a bit too dear.

Blue-eyed ginger-knob Kevin McKidd (Vorenus) apparently thought the rust and blue in this shirt would bring out his finer features, but then he added a BLACK JACKET. Why, Kevin, why?! It's like painting a Rolls Royce dayglo green. Tragic.
[Rating: 2/4 bottles of brain bleach]

And let's not forget this former bicycle courier's fab biker shorts worn under his tunic from this arsed-up Rome publicity still.
[Rating: 3/4 buckets of brain bleach coz I can see which way he dresses - AAAGH]

Sure, it takes a brave man to wear pink and say "oh do f-ck off" to fashionistas who would instantly label him a knob jockey. But two of Rome's more virile cast members made this unfortunate choice and were immortalised on celluloid. Ray Stevenson (Pullo) runs to the ruddy to begin with, so the pink shirt only makes him look like he's either rightfully embarrassed about his kit or he's been on the piss (drunk) since dawn. Gods beneath us, it's Pullo In Pink (credit to magialuna). James Purefoy (Antony) adds insult to injury with a pink shirt and pinker TIE. Oh the humanity. No wonder they both lost the bid to play debonnaire James Bond.
[Tied - Rating: 3/4 buckets of brain bleach]

Tobias Menzies (Brutus) gets two snaps and a twist for this bizarre paisley jobby. At least it isn't pink.
[Tied - Rating: 3/4 buckets of brain bleach]

However, I think the Fashion Disaster Award will go to James, who some of you know played Blackbeard for the Beeb. Still, no excuse for this travesty. ARRRRGGH. He should not only walk the plank, he should be beaten with it.
[Rating: 4/4 tubs of brain bleach]

But wait....

Honourable mention must go to Ray. He's a golfer so I was expecting some horror, but ... *shiver* The stalkers at ray-stevenson.com sent me a few that had me wheezing. Poor lad was caught in a photog's crosshairs outside some night club -- one stalker assured me that the image database containing this photo listed it with the keywords "drunk" and "two day beard growth". Well done, sir. Here Ray thought he'd spruce up the old dark jacket / white shirt combo with a tie covered in Jackson Pollock's vomit. The coup de gras, however, is Spaaaaace Raaaaaay!!!!!!111 Holy f-cksocks, guv. The chap next to Ray may seem calm, but inside he's screaming. You can tell by the hair standing on end.
[Rating: eleventy-one olympic-sized swimming pools of brain bleach]

On second thought, sod James. Ray wins hands down.

My thanks to those who sent photos included in this crap essay, but if you find a photo of Ray in a cock sock, do not inflict it on me. For the love of God, just BURN IT.