Ever notice how the internet brings out the crazy people?. I don’t mean the “I saw a UFO” crazy, or the “I’m Elvis’ love child “crazy. I mean the “shit in their pants and don’t change for days” crazy, the “eat a booger, out of someone else’s nose” crazy. And why do these wack-a-loons always find me to play with?

I am nothing unusual, not spectacular, nor even note-worthy even, yet in the short time I have been on the internet, I have inherited not one but two Harpies. For those not familiar with this term I shall elucidate. In Greek mythology, harpies were the daughters of Electra and were nasty foul creatures who tormented their captives, usually by stealing their food and not letting them rest.

Their most famous captive was King Phineus who was never allowed to eat in peace. He would get enough to survive one more day and then would be chased off until the next day, thereby being in constant hunger. It was finally Jason and the Argonauts who rescued Phineus from his fate.

I can sympathize with the old king. For I too have had harpies on my head. The first was a classic, female and bat-shit crazy. She was posing as a male and was a troll of the first caliber. What I referred to as a “Flaming Asshole Troll”. Or simply FAT in texting and Internet acronymology. After her umpteenth copy and paste job I couldn’t take anymore and called her on it. I went as far as Googling her posts, which were never cited, just to find where they came from.

She was a clever one. She would take the second paragraph and make it her first. But Google is relentless. After a few call outs, she came at me with a new persona and a satchel of new tricks. First were the posts with links to Gay websites with names similar to, but not quite, my name. When these didn’t get the desired effect she was hoping for, her next move was to post a picture of her own asshole. I don’t why. She must have thought that the ugliness of it would frighten me off forever. Her’s don’t know me too well does her?

Anyway that action caused her to be banned permanently I think. As it has been over a month and she has not returned. She did try again the next weekend but that too was stopped on Monday with the Admins return. And two was the charm. The Admin was my own Zetes. A rescuer of old King Phineus.

And life was good.

The next spectre to rear its ugly head was a male one. Quite unexpected. He was a poster known to me prior to his transformation into a winged demon. I didn’t like him. He did things that weren’t very kosher and I didn’t trust him at all. How little did I know. What precipitated this shift towards obsession with me I don’t know. A flippant remark? A casual ignore? I may never know.

So he has begun a campaign of harassment aimed directly at me, on these very public boards. First came the insults, questioning my intelligence or credentials. I have addressed this before in another blog. The real world means nothing here. All that counts are the words that you can produce on the page. Looks, money and education are meaningless.

Celaeno, as I will refer to him believes just the opposite and expands a lot of energy trying to convince everyone that he is rich, good looking and legend in his own mind. Not being overly impressed with his questionable credentials, he began his torment of my posting and peace. After the insults came the personal attacks.

On the ‘net, insults are not really as personal as they are in real life. Mostly because you can’t punch a guy out for calling you a “cocksucker” as you can if it happens at your local tavern. So you learn to live with it a gain a splendiferous and powerful vocabulary. Again, only words on a page. But a strong offense is the best defense.

Then of course, came the questions of sexuality proclivities, which coming from a guy really is creepy. Not a gay type creep for Gays do not creep me out. More like the guy who asks about your masturbatory habits so he can wack off to them later type of creep.

But then he stepped it a notch. I was now no longer his only target. This coward would begin to insult my wife. A true man, attack a woman. This got my attention. As anybody who has ever gotten into a “discussion” with a person with an opposing view, there are certain rules and decorum that you observe. One is that you don’t attack innocent people not involved in the discussion. Kind of like the mob doesn’t wack family members. There is a code. Of course “yo mama” jokes do not apply. They, being an art form all unto themselves.

Well, he crossed that threshold, where no real man or woman would go. A sniveling little piece of cowardly shit would go there. And he did. I should have expected it, and have since learned that this harpy, this troll of a being has actually exposed peoples real names over the internet. He has tracked down personal web pages like MySpace or yahoo pages and posted that information as well.

In other words, he has been a total cocksucking fucktard of a human being. A person only safe because he hides behind a monitor screen. Who if he behaved this way at my local tavern, would have found himself hanging upside down from the nearest tree, naked, with a beer bottle shoved up his ass. And his teeth missing.

But being the coward he is he will die his thousand little deaths of humiliation and shame every time he comes online. For now he has been totally exposed for the whole of us to see. Us, the people he comes to interact with, yet he proclaims his disdain for us with every post. The people he tries so hard to impress with feeble attempts at wit and wisdom, and who are never impressed at all.

So now I come to the end of my tale. Hopefully the Boreads will rescue me again from this latest harpy that torments me. If not I can survive. And maybe some day I’ll update this particular blog to tell of the demise of another harpy.

I don’t have to tell you, but something is terribly wrong in this country. This has been said since the inception of this once great nation. Every generation has had its turmoil’s and triumphs. Tom Brokaw called my father’s generation the Greatest Generation, for overcoming not only the Second World War but the Great Depression as well. And certain economists may argue that one had little to do with the other, but saner minds know that it was the war that pulled this nation out of depression and isolation. Beginning what I call Pax Americana.

Every Empire has had a period of time so designated regardless of its accuracy. Pax Romana spanned a greater time than the current attempts at Empire. Pax Britainia began with Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo. Pax Americana began with Hiroshima. And now a mere sixty –two years later it comes to an end. We have won the Cold War and become the sole super-power on the face of the Earth. And then 19 Muslim extremists set in motion a chain of events that have led us inevitably to this place in history. Well, actually they didn’t start the events in motion, for they had been in place for many, many years.

What they did was expose to the citizens of the United States and the world that there is no peace. And that $600 billion a year can not protect you. This has been sobering news for many a person. The answer many have said is to spend more money and begin killing people with God’s Terrible Swift Sword. Those people were wrong. As over 3,800 of our best citizen’s families have found out.

That horrific day in September brought together the civilized nations of the world in a rare moment of unity and shared grief. And our president, in a vainglorious moment of self-righteousness and misguided intentions with an ignorant worldview squandered that moment like taking a shit in an outhouse. With no other consideration than for his own place in time. Like Achilles in the movie Troy, he was more than concerned that his name live on in history. But as Achilles had his heel, so does this President has his weakness. And that weakness is he.

After 9/11 the entire country had a "suspension of belief", meaning they believed every lie told to them by this administration. And this administration, for their part, knew they could get away with it for as long as it took to get us into this war. Once in, it is so hard to get back again.

People are going to expect that on January 2, 2009 the troops will be home. That will only happen if the withdrawal begins today. For a safe and sane withdrawal is now the only "victory" this administration can expect to accomplish.

Long gone are those heady days of democracy and nation building. Now the absolute best we can accomplish is to be out of Iraq before the American death toll tops 10,000. Yes, I said 10,000! That will be a victory. Mark my words, the "insurgents" will step up attacks from now until the election. We like to think they are primitives, but they have proved themselves adaptable and elusive. And they know that higher death counts will force the American public to want a quick exit.

No this is not a “stay the course” rant. As much as it sounds like it.

We should withdraw from the countryside and the streets of Baghdad now. Hunker the troops down in a defensive posture until they can be extracted. Minimize the numbers of American casualties, which are inevitable. Let the animals kill each other for all that they are worth. We have removed a head of State, illegally, have given them some sham of a government and expect them to behave differently than any other nation on earth and not try to kill each for fun and profit. A civil war has taken place in almost every nation's history. Why do we believe that this one will be different?

One of the joys of these forums is watching, sometimes participating in the pissing contests that occur from time to time. Seeing the insults fly, the parry and thrust of quip and retort and then the ego crash is such fun. So, I’m a sadist taking joy in another’s humiliation, sue me.

Of course, the standard insults are always good in an opening salvo; “asshole”, “retard” and “cocksucker”, imply your intentions without really raising a sweat. Then there are the amalgams; “fucktard”, “cockbite”, “reamhole” have a certain jene sais quoi, but can be used ad infinitum and as such used exclusively can show a true lack of originality and a limited vocabulary.

Then there are the internet specific insults; “troll”: a person who comes to a forum to disrupt the flow and impose their agenda upon the poor victims around him. A “flame-thrower ” is a troll, who not only imposes their own agenda, but knows that their statements will enflame, (hence the name), the sensibilities of those other posters on the forum. Like the conservative at a Liberal board, or Hamas on a JDL board. They will provoke, just for the sake of provocation. They will insult just to irritate, not to make a point.

A “Spammer” is a creature totally void of originality. They lack any skills in sentence structure, grammar, or cognition. They will copy and paste online articles, in part or whole, usually without crediting the true author and try to pass it off as their own. Or worse, will c/p an article everywhere they can, taking quantity with others quality. And the lowest, will constantly quote other’s words and then add a line at he end such as; “ha ha” or “well said” or some other insipid statement thereby trying to claim the words as their own.

And then there is my favorite; “attention whore”. And herein lies the irony. The insult is supposed to label someone as an attention-seeking miscreant. Someone who is the equivalent of that little brother who craves his older siblings attention. If you had younger brothers or sisters, you know exactly what I mean. If you were that little brother, we hate you, and we will get you when mom’s not around!

Anyway, back to the irony. If you’re quick on the uptake you know were I’m going, if not, I shall elaborate. The term “attention whore” implies the insulted is that little brother. But big bro’ has his own issues too! If you are here, and you post, you are seeking attention. You can’t escape that fact. We all want the other’s here to listen to us, to agree with us, to laugh with, not at, us. That is why we’re here. Don’t give me that shit about sharing intellectual discourse, the free exchange of ideas, the camaraderie, BULLSHIT!

You are here to impress, dazzle and baffle others with your wit, intellect and humor. Admit it and you’ll stop deluding yourself and embrace your inner exhibitionist. Now you see the irony, the conflict, of such an insult. Yes, there are degrees to this, most are low key and respectful of others. After all, if you want people to listen to your bullshit, you have to listen to theirs. It is when someone breaks this courtesy, this accepted decorum, that “attention whore” is hurled with vim and venom. But, it is a case of kettle-black, just a tad hypocritical.

There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. Actors, writers and comedians are all attention seekers. Celebrities have raised this need to an art form. Agents, managers, publicists and personal assistants all exist to keep attention focused on their client. We have become a society of attention seekers; Myspace, YouTube, and the millions of web-based exhibitionist sites attest to this basic need we all have. If you come here just to read and never post- WTF is wrong with you? Are you some shadowy figure? Do you work for the CIA? FBI? NSA? DEA? Well, if you don’t you are one creepy dude! But since you don’t post, we don’t know you exist. So there! Would Paris Hilton exist without paparazzi? Unfortunately, yes, but we would be happier if we didn’t know about her and that little dog too!

But now for the good stuff. The best aspect to these type of forums – here, all that counts is your mind, and your ability to cogently express yourself. Size doesn’t matter, (at least that is what my wife keeps telling me), you can’t intimidate anyone because you’re 6’5” and 250lbs., we can’t see you! Wealth is meaningless, you can’t buy good will here. You may be sitting in your million dollar home, drinking 25 year-old Scotch and it means nothing, we can’t see you. You might as well be in a tarpaper shack in Appalachia, it doesn’t matter.

You can have an MBA from Harvard or be a high school dropout, we can’t see your degrees or lack thereof. So it doesn’t matter. You can be a wizened old man (ahem), or a 19 year –old sophomore in college, it doesn’t matter. Age may lend experience, it seldom lends intelligence. I expect to learn from everyone. I may learn you’re an idiot, but there is worth in that knowledge, also.

Looks mean nothing as well, and here is the greatest leveler of the internet. Good looking people learn early in life how to use those looks to their advantage. Especially women, no offense girls, but it is a fact of life that good looking girls will get a cadre of men to light their cigarette while a plain girl stumbles down the stairs without a helping hand. And if you’re overweight, you’ll change that tire yourself, in the rain.

But none of that maters here. And I, for one am glad. I get to evaluate and know people for what they are, without the visual interference. Does that mean I’m shallow? I hope not. Being “shave your dogs ass and teach him to walk backwards” ugly myself, I am not one to judge on appearance. And before you say you can post your pics on Myspace, et. al. That is no guarantee that it isn’t your good looking little sister, or neighbor or that obscure testicle model you found online. So I wouldn’t necessarily believe, especially with Photoshop programs so available.

So what’s my point? There is no point. If you are a flaming asshole troll, you are a Flaming Asshole Troll. No amount of work by anyone but yourself can change that. You will spam, post jokes on every fucking thread and copy/paste to your hearts delight. And while you may delude yourself that you are cool and witty, everyone will know you drool and you have our pity.

Memorial Day-2007.

Although I think of him often, Memorial Day always makes me think of my father. He passed away in 1989, weeks after my youngest son born. Because he died in December, two days before my birthday, he couldn’t be buried , frozen ground, you know how it is in the Northeast. Anyway he wasn’t going to be buried here in New York. He had earned the greatest honor any American can, being buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

You see, my father was what they call a “lifer” in the Army. So yes, I was raised an Army brat. We were stationed at Fort Drum, his last post, and we spent three years in Germany. I say we because, as his family we were allowed to accompany him to his various posts. Something I would always remember with great fondness. Riding in tanks, and jeeps as a child. Dressing up in full army uniforms, my size too, complete with cowboy boots. I’m sure to the bemusement of his fellow officers. Yes, he was an officer. But not a college ROTC officer. He earned his rank the old fashioned way, under fire, in combat. Eventually, he retired a Lt. Colonel.

My father never talked a lot about his war experiences. And the ones he did talk about were usually the funny ones. And on this day of remembrance, I thought I would share those with you. My father joined the Army in 1939 to escape the joblessness rampant in Buffalo at that time. Long before the United States was bombed into World War II, he was in uniform. When the war did come, he was one of the first to go.

I can trace his career thought he medals that now hang on my wall next to the coffin flag presented to my mother at Arlington. A flag I took out of its case and flew on my front porch after 9/11. It now rests safely back in the case where it belongs. And an upside flag flies in its place on my front porch for the distress that our nation now finds itself in. My father would be very upset with me for doing this. But he would respect my reasons, for nothing came before his troops and he would be appalled at the treatment this President has given the troops.

He began his war career in North Africa, with the first large military action by the US. Across that dusty continent and onto Sicily. My father was in the 3rd Infantry Division, those alternating blue and white stripes, he called “the seven steps to hell”. In Sicily, he stood directly under General George Patton when he gave his famous apology for striking an enlisted man in the infirmary suffering from shell shock. What Patton called cowardice.

From there was Anzio, a precursor to the Normandy Invasion and just as deadly. Imagine the opening to Private Ryan without Tom Hanks. From there it was an easy push to Rome, Hitler graciously pulled back out of the city to avoid the total destruction an aerial bombing would cause, perhaps the only decent thing that man ever did in his miserable life. In Rome, my father told me that he captured the second in command under Mussolini, and took his apartment in Rome for his own.

Floor to ceiling mirrors, with drapes to cover them when needed and all that baroque Italian décor. The Germans had dug in at Monte casino a Monastery north of Rome and a protracted battle began. My father for his part, fought a nine to five war, returning to his apartment in Rome for evening meals and cocktails.

Once, there was to be a party of high level Generals and other high-ranking personnel. My father and a friend found a very beautiful Italian girl who spoke not a word of English. They taught her several phrases; “Blow it out your barracks bag”, an Army saying from the time that roughly translated today would mean “you’re full of shit”. Another one, “You’re not worth a patch on a PFCs ass”, that I believe is rather self explanatory, except that I don’t think the Army has private first class anymore, they’re all E-7s and E-5s. And he included the obligatory “Fuck you” and “Kiss my ass”. They then took this lovely sweet innocent girl to the party with all those lecherous old generals and congressmen and set her loose. He said it was the funniest thing to watch these wolves come up to her and the looks on their faces has she said in a thick Italian accent, “Fucka you”. The poor girl of course had no idea what she was saying, but the generals didn’t necessarily know that.

Other tales of stealing generators from the Navy so his men would have electricity in the bivouacs, and a very funny tale how he traded a jeep to an Italian for several cases of wine. And then had the Italian arrested for possession of Army property. When I pressed him as to how mean that was. He said that he did the guy a favor, not only would he have been shot had he been caught with the jeep, but his arrest got him medical treatment, regular meals, and decent clothing. And my father got his jeep back.

After the war, my father was in Berlin when the Soviets shut off access to the city. The reason my father never flew was because he watched those huge B-17s belly landing at the Berlin airport and the many
causalities that resulted. I still have a gold cigarette case with a map of Berlin engraved into it showing the four sectors of occupation of that city. With small enamel flags designating the French, British, Soviet and American sectors.

Next was Korea. And my father was there. He didn’t tell me much about that war. I get the feeling it wasn’t as romantic or as fun as WWII. He did tell me about the young boy who was cut in half by machine gun fire as my father tried to help him up a hill, he died in my fathers arms. There are other memories but I‘ll keep them to myself, for now. In the mid-Fifties I came along. That is a whole different story in and of itself. Then the peace time assignments. Then retirement, only to volunteer for Vietnam as a civilian worker. But he was turned down, too old.

Mt father died at the age of 76. After bouts with bone cancer, skin cancer, lung cancer, he was a smoker from the age of 11. He had a massive stroke that probably saved his life. Again another day, another story. He died doing what he had always done; having drinks and playing cards with his friends at the local American Legion. He got up to buy the next round, the colonel, as my father was called by everyone in town, always bought the next round and dropped dead at the bar.

The History of the World pt.1
Western Edition

Greece. The cradle of democracy. Never mind the young boys, they still had some good ideas.

Rome, (362bce-625ce) perhaps the greatest Empire the world has ever seen. Took many Greek ideas and literally built upon them. Codified, and engineered the known world. Think of it as Globalization: the Beginning.

Papacy. (625-1500ce) As the continent faded into ignorance, Rome used a different method of controlling the provinces. Instead of Legions and Governors, His Holiness would use bishops, dukes and Kings. An elite few to rule the subjugated masses. Yet, the seeds of nationalism are planted.

Protestantism / Renaissance. (1500- 1700) Europe finally opened its eyes and didn’t like what it saw. All the power in one set of hands had led to Crusades, the Plague and Michaelangelo. Kings would declare their independence from The Vatican. Nationalism in full bloom. From there Empire wasn’t far behind.
When Europe proved too small to play in, the major players took the act on the road. North America, South America, Asia, Africa were all in play. Still, monarchy gave rise to The Enlightenment that would directly challenge the Old World Order. And eventually would lead to this experiment called The United States of America.

Pax Britiania.(1600-1948) From a nation of shopkeepers they controlled the largest Empire ever seen in world history. Colonialization became the precursor to Globalization. Economics and bureaucracy were their main weapons of hegemony. World War I slowed this process until World War II eventually bankrupted the British. But the precedents had been set for world integrated markets.

Pax Americana (1945- 2001) Stepping onto the world stage as a young teenager in World War I, Americans did two things; we became a nation player, but also became isolationist. (A bitter lesson) We would stretch our economic muscle and Imperialism. This schizophrenic behavior would have varying consequences. With the end of the Second World War, Europe was in tatters and the twin titans of America and the Soviet Union would face off for the next 50 years or so. Despite the presence of the Soviet Union, and minor, albeit bloody, skirmishes, (Korea, Vietnam, Cuban missile Crisis), no major world powers war has occurred.
Major increases in the military presence worldwide and trillions in security spending, has, like it or not, left, the United States of America as the sole Military power on the globe. Consider this Globalization, the sequel.

9/11. The rule set changed on this day. Symmetrical warfare became asymmetrical. Mighty standing armies are now almost passe. Quick response and intelligence capabilities are the best tools for the new “war on terror”. Regime change is always a last resort. After 9/11 America stood on the precept of a whole new rule set. With a far – and a forward looking policy and world consensus, the “global war on Islamo-Fascism” could have been a far easier journey than it has been. Needless to say the first and foremost front should have remained Afghanistan. Until that nation had been fully secured and integrated into the world community, Iraq should have been left alone.
Yes, it is that simple. With a strong “coalition of willing” nations as opposed to the current “coalition of the billing” Usama should have been captured, the Taliban relegated to history. Saddam was going down, sooner or later. By going in sooner, and then totally screwing the post planning efforts, the Bush administration has guaranteed a long and protracted war/occupation with an uncertain future.

Let us be clear, I would not restrict the speech of anyone, no matter how infantile, delusional or out of touch they are. However, that said I am not required to listen to the ravings of a neoconpoop or faso-conservative, nor do I have to, (as has been become commonplace), validate their pathetic opinions with "well, that's one side" and here's another. No! Truth is not a subjective thing. If you have 100 opinions about anything, 99 of them are wrong. Now you can fall back to that "grey area" arguement to try an obfuscate the truth, but the reality is, in most topics of serious weight, there is only one truth.

That truth may be hard to find. People who have done terrible things in a position of authority are also in the position to cover that evil up. They can create an alternative truth that may stand up to scrutiny, in the short term. But will, eventually, be found out. If not by their own ineptitude then by the conscious of those that have taken part in that evil. If not, then they have gotten away with a crime against humanity. Unfortunately sometimes that is the only truth that is left to us.

The trolls that appear from under their bridges, to haunt these forums are a pitiable form of life. Their lives are so void of humanity that they must hide behind the anonymity of a computer screen. They are so pathetic in their social skills that they know of no other way to garner attention to themselves except by being contrarians. Usually using the debate "I know you are, but what am I?" Or some variation thereof. Imagine the lonely hours waiting by the computer for someone to notice that they've posted yet another inane missive whose sole purpose is to annoy and draw attention from people whom they do not even know personally.

And now the saddest part. These trolls come among us, spewing their venom in a vain attempt to gain acceptance from a group a people whom they, by their own accounts, do not like, agree with or whose opinions they do not value. I am a Progressive on most issues. You will not find me posting on a conservative website because my attempts at enlightenment would be futile. I realize this. These trolls apparently do not. It escapes them that their petty and childish attempts to show off their "intellect" amongst intelligent people is akin to the younger brother trying to hang out with the older kids. All the while screaming, "Wait up!".

I would welcome a pithy and thoughtful discourse with an opposing opinion, but unfortunately the five or six trolls that I have encountered, (and you know who you are dog, et. al.) here give me neither intelligent responses nor factual information. Recently, I went on a rant against several of these trolls and unwisely used profanity. It was quickly reported by said trolls and deleted. How do I know they reported it? They never responded to it. If I was persoanlly attacked by someone in print, I wouldn't go crying to the Moderators about some nasty name I was called. I would respond in kind. That is what adults do. Children go crying to Mommy. Of course, an adult would also consider the source of such an insult. If it was from someone I didn't know and care about it probably wouldn't bother me. I might even find it funny if it was worded well and humorous.

So to those trolls that live amongst us, spew on. We know you can't control yourself, your Mommy didn't breastfeed you and you have issues of self-esteem and worth. WE will probably read your drivel and shake our collective heads. Maybe even pat you on the head with a response, which is all you've ever really wanted in the first place. And then we will move on with our lives while you sit there in the mastabutory glow that you beleive you've earned.

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Edited by jomo666 at 05/28/2007 6:50 AM

once again it has happened. senseless death. i don't think it can ever be 100% safe anywhere but Jesus we have to do something.

if i began a rant against the retard and vice criminal, calling for their deaths, like the religious right has done for doctors, would i get a visit from the FBI or would i be ignored like the anti-choicers are? Both Cheney and Bush and all the rest should be tried, convicted and executed for the high crimes of TREASON, SEDITION and WAR PROFITEERING

will the bush admin get out of dodge cleanly or will the retard-in-chief and vice-criminal finally be held accountable for any of the various crimes they have commited against the people of this country and the world?