[A mother, a father, and their little daughter Amy are walking through an airport.  Suddenly, Amy begins running towards John McCain.]

Amy:  Grandpa!  Grandpa!
McCain:  Hello--Julie?

[Amy turns white as a ghost.]
[Joe Lieberman leans over and whispers into McCain's ear.]

McCain:  Sorry.  You're Amy, right?
Amy:  (fearfully) Y-y-yes, Grandpa.

News Correspondent: I'm here in Afghanistan, where American troops have just captured a group of Taliban terrorists.

[A group of handcuffed men walk past the camera. They are all in their 20's, with long hair, full beards, and Afghan clothes?except for one man. That man is middle-aged, clean-shaved, with short, gray hair, and a business suit and tie.]

News Correspondent: Wait a minute?one of these men is different!

[The news correspondent walks up to the middle-aged man and points the microphone at him.]

News Correspondent: Excuse me, sir. Are you the leader of this Taliban terrorist group?

Sessions: No, I'm not a terrorist. I'm a Republican congressman from Texas.

News Correspondent: Why are you here with the Taliban?

Sessions: I'm on a fact-finding mission.

News Correspondent: What kind of facts are you getting?

Sessions: Insurgency techniques. Insurgency is a mindset and an attitude that we're going to have to search for and find ways to get our message out. Systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person's entire processes.

Moderator Michael Steele sits in the chair on the right, facing Governor Bobby Jindal, who sits in the chair on the left. The two men lean forward.

Steele: And now, Governor, it's down to our final question! Here is the situation:
Banks are losing billions of dollars because homeowners are unable to make their mortgage payments.
The Big 3 automakers are losing billions of dollars, partly because they have to pay enormous amounts of health insurance premiums for their employees and their retirees.
The country is paying billions of dollars to foreign countries for crude oil.

And the question is, ?How should we solve these problems??

Here are your choices:

A) Refinance mortgages at lower interest rates.
B) Initiate a universal, national health care system.
C) Subsidize research into alternative fuel sources, mass transit systems, and infrastructure improvements.
D) Cut taxes.


And what is your answer, Governor? A, B, C, or D?

Would you like to phone a friend?

Jindal: I don't need to call anyone. The answer is easy. It's D--Cut taxes!!!


DING DING DING DING

Steele: THAT'S RIGHT!! D ---- CUT TAXES !!!!

Congratulations, Governor! You are our big winner! You get to give the Republican Party's response to the presidential address to Congress!!!!!!!

And what now, Governor?

Jindal: I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD !!!!!

Hillary is the name on the ballot this year, but when will the news analysts admit that this is really Bill Clinton's campaign for a third term in office?