Well, I did it! I actually forged a significant change in our collective lives and so far, well since Friday, it's been working. T took me up on it and apparently discussed changing the schedul with S and we both spoke with R. and it's done! There hasn't been any major problem so I'm not going to jinx it by talking about the results in detail..yet. lol
The heat here has been unbearable this week and we've barely gone out of the house because of it. This takes some getting used to but then any new home would.
Still no part time retirement job keep your fingers crossed please...
Oh! I'm thinking of moving this blog or reprinting it on it's own blog site...even though my last post received 130something views I feel as though I want to tell my journey to a larger audience one day.
T being home for 3 weeks following her surgery has been a pleasure! The grown kids have co-operated and kept the in and out and chaos in the house to a minimum and it's been nice and peaceful. Plus she is so easy to live with. We are all very proud of her at the moment so forgive me if I gush.
Frankly lately, my biggest annoyance here is the fact of teenage kids being around. I soooooo thought I had gotten past this stage of life. Sigh. What we do for love!
Basically, I just wanted to post to boast about my little success story. We are giving it a go for a month to see if it makes us more content. A month at a time.
Also, I thought I would invite those of this who actually read this to find out more about me (there is much more than the polygamy thing) by checking out my writing on the following 2 websites. You will notice that there isn't a word about polygamy. I save that for here Just some poetry, articles etc that I write to pass the time and because I can't stop writing lol..
Yes you read the title of topic of this post correctly. I've had it with the damn schedule. Not that it's going to change anytime in the next millenium but I'm going to make a valid attempt ... any day now.
See, the schedule was brought up by me. Validated by me. Now, I see the mistakes in it but I don't know that anyone else does. I finally had a screaming match with S the other night and boy oh boy did it feel GOOD. I'm not ashamed to say that either. She and I have been getting along better, some. I've been trying and she's been trying and maybe I've learned how to tune her out, some. However...... change is not something she takes to. I thought I had a problem with change! Compared to her I'm practically a chameleon. It may just be the one characteristic she and R have in common. The hatred of change.
T's dad was having surgery on Monday and on Monday and Tuesday (her night) she was staying at her parent's house about an hour away to help out. Wednsday is my night, when she would be returning. So I offered to switch with her so she wouldn't miss one of her days this week. Later on Tuesday when S came home from work I told her that T and I had worked it out this way and she was all well not upset but questioning it and didn't seem happy. Later that night when T called R and reminded him and told him about the switch he said he didn't know we had worked it out and wished we had informed him earlier. "Now S has to sleep alone two nights in a row, she's not going to be happy." Well. A "discussion"broke out between T, me and S wiht T on the phone. It wasn't pleasant. S kept saying how she wasn't "used" to sleeping alone two nights in a row, etc. I blew my top at her. R, wisely, stayed out of it.
My thinking now is to say the schedule stinks and needs to be revisited and instead of actual days of the week, have the schedule be every other night, or third night. And this way, no one always has Saturday or Friday night etc.
T agrees with me. But I fear she is the only one. No, I know she is the only one.
So, we shall see how long it takes me to convince S of the fairness of this new kind of schedule. Don't let's hold our breath.
Intellectually I still believe in a schedule, and emotionally too. It just isn't easy to stick to it all the time.
Sometimes I forget my age. I'm not kidding I really do. It's an odd thing that happens. I'll not look in the mirror for any reason all evening or night and then I wake up and immediately brush my teeth! Those damn mirrors everyone has over the bathroom sinks! Seriously, why? Couldn't the mirror be to the left or the right so you only see it if you WANT to? All of my life I have looked younger than my age. It was a nice thing, even though when I was very young it could be a pain in the arse. My youngest son has the same problem, he sort of still looks 15 even though he's 24. Well this particular quality stayed with me for a long time, past 50! My mom and dad both were like this. Till their hair became so gray there was no denying their age. Today, so many people color their gray that one would think there would be no telling most folk's ages right? WRONG! Anyway, I'm not sure of the exact day I started looking my age but I do. Poor R. no, poor me! See, here is the thing. Age discrimination exists and it sucks. But since I forget, it does more than suck, it is down right mean. For instance, job hunting. All I want is a little part-time job. I don't have the political connections here in Texas to garner myself a nice little part-time gig on a campaign or in an official's office. So let's see what the other options are. Retail? OK. At one point in my long life I had some retail experience. I worked in the stock room at Filene's in Boston when I was in college. When I was married I was the receptionist/manager in a beauty salon and sold hair products. My dream job would be owning a small bookstore, the type that barely exists anymore. So..... off to look for a retail job! hmm. Believe it or not I know my limits and I know I'm not 20 anymore so being a Starbucks barista isn't in the works. Barnes and Noble? Borders? maybe. Just have to locate one of those. But yay, there is a Bath and Body Works not far from home. I go in. They are having a sale! YAY. ok I know what you're thinking but I didn't splurge I just got some little things. I do manage to strike up a conversation with the 30ish woman who waits on me. Do you all ever need part time help? Yes! Cool. She hands me an application. I fill it out and leave. Nothing. R suggests being a Walmart greeter. NOOOOOO. That cut to the core. They are all about 80. I will NOT succumb. I search on the internet. Kohl's is looking but not in this area. So is Target, again not this one. Let's calculate. part time gig salary x gas price of 4 bucks. Not a good thing. A florist? I have arranged flowers for a flower shop back in NY. Out I go again. I'm starting to get the feeling that shop owners are thinking can she handle it? So I try not to limp on my bad knee when I walk in the door. Damn. So here I am at the computer again. Every adult in this household works except me. My sister wives are not pressuring me but I feel they are not happy about it so I try to do a little extra around the house. I volunteer for babysitting duty ALOT. I kind of like it. I write on a freelance website for pennies and fun. No one understands that at all lol. Silly poetry, sad poetry and other stuff. Last night I did a product review for low fat ice cream.... go ahead, you can laugh! I felt productive though so bah! lol I get a tiny pension that is really enough but I feel this need to get out into the world. I would like to have some girlfriends. REAL girlfriends that I choose! yes!I'm not quite feeling stifled yet but I can feel it coming. I want to talk about something other than my husband or the kids. Again, poor R, he gets all my intellectual and political leaning stuff/talk etc. You know, this would be a great time in my life to closet away and write a novel. hahaha. That ain't happening any time soon. Try closeting yourself away in a household of 10! So back to the job search I'll go. The local community college must have a personnel office. Sometimes you see little old ladies in offices don't you? Because no amount of makeup is going to hide the lines on this face or the gray pushing itself out of my scalp any time soon. Forget retail. Who wants to be on their feet all day anyway. In the meantime, I'm going to go put a two year old down for a nap and if he doesn't want to do that I'll hold and rock him because I have the time to. And no one else does. Amen.
Yes for those who asked, everyone is home. They were really only gone about 5 days although it seemed like forever. Thank goodness T was here with me. The teenagers behaved well in their father's absence. The daughter in law spent all her time here! The kiddies were wonderful most of the time. Since they drove, S thought the visit to her family wasn't long enough, R couldn't wait to get back from what he says. And the 24 yr old had a nice time. That's their trip in a nutshell lol Life goes on here. It's the dog days of summer, it's Texas, it's freakin hot! I find the gas prices so awful I hesitate before I go out job hunting. I was hoping to get something part time at like Bath and Body Works (thinking wonderful thoughts about the discount!) they took my application but haven't heard as of yet. R says probably will hear couple months before Christmas. I'm starting to miss my friends back home and all the socializing that I didn't do lol..well I did on occasion. I'm worried about making friends at a job and not being able to bring them home. I've become very attached to the grandkids here but I am feeling alot of guilt about being so far from my own new grandbaby and my kids. R and I had our first big fight this past friday. Gee, guess how it got started? Come on you can guess. Right before dinner I noticed that you could see thru S's white bathing suit. So I mentioned it to her. S, hon, are you aware that your bathing suit becomes see thru when it's wet? R snaps! Stop picking on her. We both ignore him. Dinner is served, we're relaxing at the table and he said L, why don't you just tell her you can't stand her? You don't like her, tell her. JeeezLouiiiiisse! That was a shocker. So one thing led to another and we went on and on. T retreated. S didn't know what to do. And I got MAD. Really mad. R, instead of being the R we all love and know, got mad that I got mad! I got mad that he was being so TYPICAL. ugh. It wound up that R, S and I stayed up all night till about 6 am. By Saturday night we were fine. But that was a long day. And I don't want it to ever happen again. He really feels that we all pick on her but he didn't expect me to. hahaha I have to laugh at that really. I was born in to a very critical family. We are a tough bunch, tough on each other, but we never stop loving. R feels that with family especially, one should look the other way at some flaws. He's probably right but damn! So, since then, S and I have been doing our trying to bond routine every day or so. I just want to get to a place where we know where each other stands and no one feels terrible and R is happy.
The 15 yr old is another story. I have gently expressed to R that I can't be the enforcer all the time. I will say though, that as good a kid as he is, there are just too many people here for him to have friends over 24/7 just because it's summer. So last night, when he and his friends woke S up at 1 am as they sat at the kitchen table yakking away and being loud, I took up for S. Yes I did!!! She was grateful, but the kid got ticked off and then R had to do the stern father routine which he is pitiful at by the way. Point being for me is that I didn't win any brownie points for taking up for S and the kid was moody toward me until tonight. Gosh. It's hard going through the teenage years again.
S and I had an interesting discussion over the idea of R finding a 4th. The three women here are in agreement...NO WAY. R teases us because he is a tease and poor S takes him seriously. So I had to explain her husband of 16 years to her!!! AGAIN. I am sympathetic toward her, I hug her and let her vent. I try to get her to laugh or smile when she gets this insecure thing going. I'm not an ogre~ but boy, I would never have picked such a high maintenance wife to live with if it had been my choice. She's lucky I wasn't number 2. LOL
My dear friends who are reading this, I don't seem to have the time or energy to be scouring the boards and posting alot right now. I haven't left, I look through the posts and occasionally reply, but right now I'm dealing with getting used to things, getting along with everyone, and missing my kids. I am still here though.
This sure is an interesting few days. R and S and his oldest son on a road trip to PA to see S's family for her parent's 50th. I thought it would be horrible, but it's not. It's relaxing. Of course we are babysitting the grandkids when their mom is at work, and the 15 year old son is here as are a friend or two of his on and off, so it's not exactly lonely. Plus T is easy to be with. She loves to run errands lol, I still don't know my way around all that much. She does her Avon and I do my writing. The little ones are a handful but sooo cute. I really love them, but I miss my new grandbaby. I'm nagging them to get a web cam so I can see him that would be fun. R calls a few times a day, he is so good about keeping in touch. This is one of his traits I really appreciated when we lived apart and so many miles away from each other. He's definitely not one of those men that has a hard time communicating. S hasn't called or come to the phone to talk, which is just as well. What would we say to her? Other than are you having a nice time, I can't imagine what else. She does love to chatter though which explains the peace and quiet here in her absence. Poor J (R and T's son) and R, I can just imagine that road trip! lol...I'm not being mean honestly, I think insecure people just love to hear themselves talk. It's amazing how patient and tolerant R is of her chatter, god bless him. My ex would have kicked her out of the car 50 miles down the road. I think the patience and ability to listen or at least try to listen is the first thing that attracted me to R. My ex would just tell me to shut up please, can't you stop talking? I swear. And then there would be no one to talk to. One of the pluses of polygamy, there is ALWAYS someone to talk to. You know what I find strange? Before I moved here, I was obsessed with sex. I admit it. I thought about it, I talked about it, had constant polygamy sex questions for R and others lol...I rarely think about it anymore unless I focus on it. It's certainly not a problematic thing and I thought it would be. I thought I would be raging with jealousy all of the time. I'm not. I thought I would listen at the bedroom door...um I sure as hell don't do that..I was certain that every time S smooched all over R I would scream! ok, I do cringe occasionally but not daily. I know one thing. I think I moved here at exactly the right time for me, except for the fact that one of my children up and made me a grandmother unexpectedly soon. That is the only thing about my former life I am missing crazily. I sometimes miss my lifestyle, my good friends, i miss that damn couch I got that was like a dream haha really it was, and I miss coming home to a perfectly clean house...but that's it. Nothing horrible. No terrible homesickness at all. My home, is here where I belong. R said that, and he was right.
Here I am sitting here after a meal I've cooked and cleaned up after. It's my day, both T and S are still at work. R is taking a short nap. This has been a complicated week to say the least. There are times when I wish I had religious reasons for living this way, then at least there would be a "higher" purpose. Someone to pray to for guidance. Don't get me wrong, I pray when I feel the need.
So R says S overheard me talking about her and is furious. It turns out he said something to her and she thought he wouldn't possibly say that so he must have heard it from me lol..gosh how complicated right?
What he said was..."It's all about S." I had to laugh because I've heard him say that on a few occasions out of frustration.
They are going on a trip to see her parents for a few days. 4 to be exact. I'm not jealous which shocks me.
But it is annoying because of the finances and because it leaves T and I to be in charge of the kids. Not an easy task. R is so strongly the head of the household, that this has never been a consideration before.
Well, he doesn't really want to go. He has to pretend they are monogamous first of all. Secondly, it's very costly this time of year especially. And thirdly, well all those hours alone with S yakkin away could get on ones nerves, but of course he doesn't say that.
Man, can she talk. After the hullabloo over the comment she "overheard" she first wrote me a letter, didn't show it to me. Instead I made her sit and talk to me. OMG. never again. Must have been 2 hours. Maybe more. On and on about how she knows she's a selfish, greedy and needy person but that's just the way she is. She never wanted to be polygamous. Yay I got ther to admit it outloud. She accepted it but she thought he would stop at 2. She likes me. Loves me as a sister. BLAH BLAH BLAH. iT WAs nice, but it was exhausting because she repeats herself. I heard her whole life story over again. She tells me it at least twice a week or at least some huge segment of it. It of course covers how and when and why she fell for R. Get over it !!!
Actually, she has some good qualities but her jealousy for all her religious bible pumping poly beliefs is greater than mine even.
I really need strength to deal with her. As I told R, I didn't know I had signed on to be a babysitter. Gosh. T laughs when I say this. God bless T. She is a gem. R should kiss the ground she walks on.
This week I was missing having my own house. I hope someday we can do that. There are nice things about being here all together like seeing R every day and evening even if it's not my day. But it's hard to stay out of the way and it's even harder to see all the smooching. I'm getting used to it. But somehow I don't think it's necessary. S is a strong believer in smooching. If I let her she would probably kiss me! Thankfully NOT.
So this will be interesting the four days without R. It will be quiet for sure, no constant yakking in the background, but I will miss him. He will return on my day, Monday! Probably tired from traveling..maybe I can negotiate something....lol
Been back home in Texas a week now. It was 95 degrees out when the plane landed here.. wow. It was really good to get home even if it was bittersweet. I never thought I would last 3 weeks at my sisters but I did and we got along very well. Who would have ever thought that? Anyway, R and S are leaving in a week for her parent's 50th wedding anniversary. She's not close to her family at all so R isn't real excited about the trip. Financially coming on the back of my trip is hard too. Things are kinda strained between me and S at the moment. She told R she has heard me talking to him about her in a negative way. Damn house is too small lol...anyway, she's blaming me for his lack of enthusiasm about the trip. Oh well. I should sit her down and talk to her but I swear if she takes the bible out I'll smack her.
I learned something about myself lately. I'm more cut out for this plural life style than S or R. Especially S. I never would have thought it but she is full of jealousies. She's put her laptop right on R's desk because she thought it was unfair that I was sharing his office. Oh well.
That is one of the reasons I haven't been online that much this week. It's hard to concentrate when there is a conversation going on behind your head. But I'll figure it out.
I'm also having a difficult time following the threads and all since I left. I really wish the show was coming back sooner. I'm tired of talking about the flds and the raid. The whole situation is sad. Hopefully I'll get back in the swing of things here soon.
I just wanted to let my friends know that I'm back, I'm well, and all that stuff. I miss seeing little Dylan every day, but I don't think it's good for me to be hanging around them either.
It's May 13th, six weeks or so into my new life and I'm away from home. Odd to say that. R didn't want me to leave so soon, he knew it was coming because of the new baby but he was disappointed he couldn't come with me. Also I will be here almost 3 weeks! I figured I don't know when I will get back east for a visit so might as well make it a decent size one, and I also was hoping I would make it to NY to visit my other son and my friends. Not so sure that will happen now though. The baby is still in the hospital and I don't want to miss his homecoming! Oh how easy and quick and uncomplicated baby love is!!
I've only been here since Monday night so I haven't had a chance to be melancoly about being away from home yet. Of course I miss R. I miss my talks with T and I miss the grandbabies there, particularly the littlest one. Hard to miss S and the boys yet but I know I will. Sister wives is a strange kinda love, it ain't easy.
I'm thinking right about now that the process of finding sister wives should be left to the existing sister wives. Of course that is crazy for me to say since I believe in Romantic love being a part of marriage, but I just feel that way pretty strongly.
See, if I pretend I am actually at work and not in a home, this is the way it would be:
After a while I would probably make friends with T. While we have different backgrounds, don't have a helluva lot in common and different tastes in some things, I would enjoy her company!!! OH MY I'm sure when I get the chance to mention this revelation, that will shock R since he was so sure it would be S I would like the best. Anyway, back to the office. I would probably enjoy working with T, chat with her, perhaps have lunch together and so forth. I would like her, I'm sure, even though it would take a while to get to know her since she keeps things pretty close to the chest most of the time. Assuming S works in the same office, I probably would be cordial and pleasant with her but not seek out her friendship. We are very very different people with different outlooks. And I would find her constant chatter annoying as hell. Even without becoming her friend, I would know her life story, through over hearing her in the lunch room. She is outgoing and would probably stop by my office or cubicle just to pass the time and chat and I would tolerate it but not be happy about it. Do you know what I mean? This isn't to say she isn't nice, because she can be very nice.
About 2 weeks ago I got a horrible stomach bug. Like nothing I've had since my kids brought that kind of thing home from school. ugh. I could barely raise my head from the bed for a whole day, except in emergencies. S was WONDERFUL. She brought be tea, cold drinks, even soup toward the end of the day. It was really nice. I even told R how nice it was and how guilty I felt about not loving/liking her more now. Bare in mind that was an entire day without hearing her quote from the bible about one thing or another, or about hear the reminders about how I need to be more submissive and agree with everyone on everything more. yikes!
Anyway, I'm away from home, it's the beginning of the trip and so far I really only miss R and the youngest grandbaby. Is that horrible of me? I miss the baby because he calls me moomoo and gives me kisses in the morning to wake me up and sweet hugs good night. And he has his grandpa's flirtatious nature. I miss R, because I always miss R, just because.
So I'm babbling on about my sister wives when what I really wanted to say is that my new grandson is BEAUTIFUL! I am so proud! I'm sure I will cry when it's time to go back home, but it will be good to get back home too..I miss my room! My new life! The warmer weather!
Well, well, well, somehow, someway, I have suddenly become the model plural wife! ROFLMAO. I'm half joking but there have been some interesting developments.
*The only one who has lost her mind and had any hissy fits has been S..natch! hey as long as it wasn't me, I'm glad. What was nice is she wrote loooong notes to the rest of us adults and gave them to us today. OK YES, I peeked. I didn't read all of them in entirety but she thanked me for coming into their lives, even said I bring a "balance." w/e that means. She told T she was right about me! YAY! and apologized, I think to R for being tough on all of us. I THINK, I really didn't want to read his so I just glanced at it since it was on his desk, not hiding. The point is, I have no idea what I've done to deserve her sudden adoration but so be it.
* I have survived not one but 2 tornado watches now in Texas..ah texas in the Springtime..lol a horrific hail storm tonight that ruined the vegetable garden..ugh, R is sad about that.
* My room is almost completely unpacked!
* I had been feeling sort of off to the side watching a melodrama that I was a part of but not really. I no longer feel that way. R and I are starting to recapture some of what was special about us. And I heard some affirmation from none other than S's daughter who said that I'm a match for R's wits and a solace to him. *shrugs
Anyhow, my friends, all in all this IS going quite well. I miss my kids though and I'm hoping that my youngest's girl hurries with this new baby so I can have a good reason to fly back east for a couple of weeks. I really wish R was going with me though....
Well folks this is a fascinating way to live! Who has time for sexual jealousy? Not me! I'm too busy trying to move in, blend my stuff with what's here already, fit in, make my mark somehow (lol sorry I'm that kinda gal) and getting used to a house full of teenagers and babies! (1 hubby, 3 wives, a 24 year old with a wife and 2 babies, and 2 teenage boys and their assorted friends!) I have to admit, I'm craving that house out back for my own but time will tell what happens.
So...schedules have been more or less worked out! 2 nights each, Sunday family night and a toss up for the sleeping arrangement. I would prefer that family night be included in the sleeping schedule the way they do on BL, so if it doesn't work out I'll lobby for that.
R and I do all the cooking and we have our own schedul of rotation for that chore. S is supposed to do the bulk of the housework but T and I help when we can. R does the outside stuff, mowing etc.
I keep saying this is like living in a college dorm. It's actually more like living on a hippy commune. I figure since I'm the only one here who was alive and of age during that era I should be able to make this work quite well. What do you think? Right now, my cooking challenge is cooking for 10 instead of 1 or 2 or as in the old days 4. 10 is a huge number of chicken legs and two pounds of pasta instead of 1 and so forth. My beef stew didn't quite make it because my proportions were all off. That kind of thing messes with my head
ohhh there have been more surprises!! good ones!
Yesterday R bought an above ground pool so I can have the water I need and swimming and the whole family can enjoy it too...AND, night before last he got me a car! Not a brand new car but a really nice car nontheless. A sexy red saturn sports coupe! He got such a good deal on it I'm amazed, but then it's Texas and it's definitely cheaper to live here in almost everyway.
We've only had one "fight" and it wasn't all that bad. The thing I didn't like though about the making up was he sent S into my room to calm me down! wow, that was a shockaroo. lol..it worked though so who am I do complain.
S isn't used to a schedule so she's a little whiney. She'll get over it if I have to hit her on the head with it lol.
What we've sort of worked out about the schedule is that if it's your night, R spends some out of the bedroom time with you even if it's only a couple of hours in front of the television. Hopefully, that will work. I'm a firm believer in TIME alone that isn't in a bed!He's a little shaken about it lol oh well, poor man. He'll love it in the end I think. And it's really better for the separate relationships.
All and all this is a good experience thus far and I'm of the mind that I will be even happier than I had hoped Above all else, R is a very fair person and he is trying very hard to help me fit in and feel loved by everyone.
Oh btw, I think they are getting sick of my Italian food so if ya'll have any menu ideas for teenagers let me know ok? just kidding!
Well, here I am in TEXAS of all godforsaken places lol..it's been a long road, but I made it.
For anyone who cares to know, it's been fine so far. Arrived so so late Thursday, actually 12 am friday at the airport..straight to IHOP for food! Home for a stiff drink and sleep.
On Saturday, I started roaming the neighborhood in the car, so cute, I wanted to go it alone but the 19 year old boy wouldn't hear of it so insisted I take him along. I agreed as long as he didn't help me too much and I promised R that I would call if really lost.
I found R's brother's house and we all had a nice visit. Then I found Walmart, the Public Library nearby, Target, Pizza Hut JH!!, and did a couple of family errands like putting gas in the SUV. I felt very accomplished lol..But that night R asked me to make his favorite Italian dinner, Chicken Cacitore and spagetti. I made a salad and some spinach and man you had to see them eat! The 2 year old grandson ate so much we thought he would burst at the seams. S concluded that she would be in charge of laundry if I were in charge of food. R is a great cook in his own right so we will share kitchen duty.
We revised the household laundry schedule and will tackle sleeping schedules tomorrow. Not looking forward to that one but it will be fine.
Later that night, R, S and I got in to a serious discussion. I let her know as gently as I could that I feel she suffocates R and pays so much attention to him that T and I feel we have no choice but to take a step back. R wasn't pleased that I took that stand but then he made a point of including T in the talk and seemed to understand better. I do this odd thing you see, I leave the room when S gets all touchy feely like rubbing his temples, feet or back while I'm talking to him lol..I know I'm new at this but golly gee, not on my night sister! I really think the Henrickson's living arrangements are the best way to go, even if dinner is all en masse, after dinner hours ~ separate so the night doesn't just mean sex. Yanno? lol
That will be the change to come the slowest but I have a feeling that as I settle in, everything will become easier. Thank goodness.
Anyway my dear friends, R and I are doing the grocery shopping tomorrow! Weeeeeeeee! I look forward to it and to having an inpact on their eating habits. I look forward to my life here, I have faith in my husband
I'll write more after a few days, right now just know that I'm safe and sound and home.
Tomorrow night I fly to my new life. I've had quite the week! Friday night the car I had packed up to drive to the youngest son in RI, filled with his valuables, was in an accident, broadsided by a livery cab, in a jungle called Queens NY. The oldest boy was in the passenger seat and all I can say is thank god for side impact airbags in that 6 year old Honda! Far as we know our injuries are on the minor side. Anywhooooo..the day has arrived! After a tumultuous week of goodbyes, dinners with friends, Easter with one of my sisters and my youngest, I'm off to Texas tomorrow evening! I'm feeling very positive about this adventure called life at the moment so forgive me if I gush... R says he has prepared a special surprise for my arrival lol When will the poor man accept that surprises aren't my cup of tea? He has been surprising me for almost 6 years now and each time I feel more shock than smiley surprise !!!no matter how terrific the said surprise is. Wow I sound like a mean old witch. so folks, I imagine the first few nights I may not get to the computer as much as usual since there will be long yak sessions with the family etc. I also intend to sleep more than usual. This has been exhausting And hey! Has anyone noticed I didn't mention S in this whole blog section till just now? I think that's a major improvement..i'm less obsessive and more accepting.. lmao I think
-- Edited by lisoccermom at 03/26/2008 8:57 PM PDT
-- Edited by lisoccermom at 03/26/2008 8:57 PM PDT
It's Tuesday. Friday all that I have weeded through and left to be moved across the country, will be picked up. So here I sit. In the middle of several piles, stagnate and trying to push myself. This is driving R crazy. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry he and S think it represents a hesitance on my part, because that just isn't so.
I've made decisions..something I truly dislike doing. Saturday I will drive to RI bringing along some of my youngest son's things he left behind here. I will drop off my car so that it will be there for me when I return to RI when the baby is born. ~ I need something to find an internet cafe with afterall..lol~ I will also either give him the car or sell it up there. Ok so that decision isn't quite made.
I will return to NY to pick up my last paycheck, and fly out from here, on the 27 or 28th.
And I am EXCITED and joyful and sad all at once. Is it possible that men can't multi-task emotions ?
I am ready to meet the challenges head on. Thank goodness for a level headed First wife! And for kids who seem to genuinely be happy I am arriving! And for a husband who is trying very hard to make me happy! And for a 2nd wife I can disagree with. I'm feeling a Serenity prayer coming on lol..
Speaking of S, she asked for the phone the other night when she heard R say he was unhappy with my indecision, my seemng to him to be some hesitance etc etc... Oh man, I didn't like that.
I'm sorry to all of you that love the bible but please don't quote it to me when it comes to relationships. Is that harsh of me? Maybe, but heck I can't be easy going and tolerant 24/7 lol.
This is so difficult this move. I've learned things about friendships that are both good and bad.
I've learned that you really can't depend on anyone else but yourself.
I've learned that I am a horder..honest I didn't know that about myself.
And I'm feeling my age in ways I can't describe.
I am longing to be like one of Fen's young girls. Ready, willing and playful. And so desired that I can do no wrong.
On the other hand I am learning that I am resilient more than I had thought. That I have a family larger than I had thought. And that I am vital to my larger family. That I can do this!
I don't even think that the jealousy thing is going to be as difficult as I originally thought. Something seems to happen inside polygamy that transcends it. Oh it will be there I'm sure. But it may even become laughable.
You take three women, all with different, VERY DIFFERENT, relationships with one man and for some unknown reason I THINK what happens is you start to enjoy the complexity of the man and his abilities.
Is that possible really? Yes I think so.
At any rate, here it is 3 days till D day and I'm on the computer. Some things never change. Procrastination is genetic I think and I am passing it on to the next generation. But am I sad about that. Not really. We are none of us perfect, and it is a far cry better than passing on psychosis. I see in my boys hearts big as the ocean. I hope I had something to do with that.
So my friends, I'm not sure I will be adding another blog post until I am settled in Texas but ya never know!
Ok, that title there is what is known as an attention grabber because if you're expecting deep conversation here about saddness and joy it ain't gonna happen! More mudane than deep is what you're gonna get. I just returned from a 4 day escapade to Rhode Island for a baby shower and brief visit with two sisters, my son, his gf and 2 of my neices. And lord please help me because I really do want to spend time there once the baby is born but omg, no cable! no internet! and they go to sleep before 9 pm! Who would have ever thought it?
That's my son I'm talking about. I'm feeling really good about him though because he is getting up at 5 am to go work a 10 hour shift at a boat yard in the freezing cold! This is particularly undruggie like behavior so I'm thrilled. Baby Dylan is expected the end of April. The shower her family gave her was very nice. All was going very well until I was on my way home and just got all weepy about living so far from them for the rest of my life. I didn't expect to have that weepy feeling at all.
Texas, holy cow, I am about half way to being ready for the mover next week. I really wish my kids would come with me but they won't I'm sure.
Son 1 was thinking about it until I decided to place some hints about the lifestyle there and DAMN. Before I got even a quarter of it out he was all "that's a Big Love situation mom and I don't want to be around it!" oops, this revelation isn't going well so I stopped in my tracks.
Other than that, I've had a great week and I'm very excited in a good way about this huge culture change I'm entering in to. Texas and NY are different countries, will be interesting.
I am kinda out there now I think, if anyone is paying attention to what I say the past couple of days. Thanks to your encouragement I might add
I almost regret coming down on Tess as hard as I did. It's not normally my style, but I'm that way, I will wait and watch then pounce like a mother hen..or is that a mother bear? oh well.
So you know, lol none of us in our household are as young or frisky as at Fen's house! wow I'm truly impressed but let me tell you it's more than impressed with the sex.
I think the "in love" and "love" thing are so crucial to poly marriages or relationships. It's so hard because obviously the new wife well yanno? lol Here's the deal with us in Texas: I truly think I wouldn't have been as accepted by T & S if we had come to them about us earlier on. While the keeping the true nature of our relationship from them disturbed us both, R was very wise to wait. Well truthfully he blurted it out one night at the dinner table when I wasn't there but lol he got moved to the guest room for a day. Well so you see ..it was wise. I was almost not the newest one by the way. About um oh over a year ago he thought he fell "in love" with a woman T & S knew but I didn't. I immediately said oh no you don't. Sorry but I"m very honest. Well guess what? After only a couple of weeks of courtship and trying to mesh her into the family, T & S said no way too. The powerful "in love" vibe was just too much for anyone to accept unfortunately for R however he now concedes she wasn't right for the family! yay! What is troublesome to females in this situation I think is that as T has pointed out, we don't get to court again. So Fen wisely has said, the husband has to take great care! He is so so correct. Perhaps Fen's sensitivity to women's feelings is the reason he has the floodgate of love at the moment! The packing is not going well, as you can see I'm procrastinating right now. It's a difficult task. We decided that I would only bring a couple of pieces of furniture. I won't be moving directly in to the house we bought. R really feels I need to "integrate" more before spreading my wings lol. He is right about this, sigh. I will do my best to make some compromises and the good thing is~ he is expecting them to as well. I'm excited. I can't wait. AND I'm nervous all at once!! Wow and I'm gonna be a grandma soon too!..oh, I have started to warn and make inroads on the subject with my oldest son. Funny thing is though, he keeps referring to T&S and R's ex wives! He'll see eventually and hopefully by that time he won't care
I get to pick out paint and carpet this week! WITHOUT compromising! halleluiah
keep your fingers crossed please... 
Just some poetry, articles etc that I write to pass the time and because I can't stop writing lol.. 
I really think the Henrickson's living arrangements are the best way to go, even if dinner is all en masse, after dinner hours ~ separate so the night doesn't just mean sex. Yanno? lol 
