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Post your favorite jokes or just one you've found that gave ya a chuckle  I'll get the ball rolling with this one I found at myfavoritejoke.com An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Saul, who used to help him, was in prison for Insider Trading and Stock Fraud. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Solly: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Papa A few days later the old man received a letter from his son. Dear Papa, For heaven's sake Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the money & stocks. Love, Solly. At 4 a.m. the next morning, a team of FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire garden area without finding any money or stocks. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Your son, Solly  -- "Uppity Women Unite" The face behind these opinionated posts
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(116 of 116)
Aug 26, 2008 12:43 PM
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> A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for
> weeks, but nothing happened..
>
> Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the
> $100.00. When the postal authorities received the
> letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the
> President..
>
> The president was so amused that he instructed his
> secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
>
> The president thought this would appear to be a lot
> of money to a little boy.
>
> The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and
> sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which
> read:
>
>
> Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
> However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it
> through Washington, DC., and those assholes deducted
> $95.00 in taxes.
Good one Wurks!
CQ
--
http://caffinequeen.wordpress.com/
"I'm on to you Chico!"
- Lois Henrickson
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(115 of 116)
Aug 26, 2008 12:18 PM
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A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened..
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President..
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.
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Posts:
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(114 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 10:02 PM
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While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you --- you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.'
The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'
The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'
The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely no t! I want a second opinion.'
The doctor replies: 'Well, it's your choice.. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.'
The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease.'
The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!'
'Oh, Thank God!' the man replies.
' Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself.
--
Well-behaved women rarely make history.......... Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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(113 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 9:54 PM
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> In our town (maybe 2 miles by 2 miles) we have 2
> catholic churches and catholic schools. We also have
> within another mile each way, 2 more catholic
> churches and schools, then the 2 Catholic highschools
> in the immediate area that all the kids end up at.
> People end up knowing each other, as well as half
> f the town being related. So, it's not difficult
> being in everyones lives.
I get it, you're talking about keeping track of the kids in the Catholic schools -- yeah, that does make it easier.
kwim = know what I mean - Vern?
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
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990
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(112 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 9:36 PM
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> > oh...ok. . .I think the committee that handles
> things
> > like that is now called "Way's and Means" but
> yes. .
> > .there is a lot of involvement in different
> outreach
> > and community activities.
>
> Hmm ... well, I just meant that the way you described
> the priests and others usually knowing everyone in
> the family and being involved in all facets of their
> lives was a pretty sharp contrast to what I've seen
> where the pastor tends to stay at church and deal
> with "church issues" kwim?
>
#1 - what is Kwim????
#2 - the example i used was an example from 30 years ago and beyond, when your community was usually people of like circumstances, same religion, people who stayed in one community all their lives. I didn't mean to mislead you on that. Now, in these times, I know that within his school (around 160 students) it's not difficult for the Director (a nun) or the 2 priest to to know all of the students by name and how they are doing. Also, most of those parents attended that school as children.
In our town (maybe 2 miles by 2 miles) we have 2 catholic churches and catholic schools. We also have within another mile each way, 2 more catholic churches and schools, then the 2 Catholic highschools in the immediate area that all the kids end up at. People end up knowing each other, as well as half the town being related. So, it's not difficult being in everyones lives.
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(111 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 9:14 PM
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I dunno.... but it seems particularly fitting that this conversation is on the jokes thread.
... i'm just kidding.
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(110 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 7:40 PM
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> oh...ok. . .I think the committee that handles things
> like that is now called "Way's and Means" but yes. .
> .there is a lot of involvement in different outreach
> and community activities.
Hmm ... well, I just meant that the way you described the priests and others usually knowing everyone in the family and being involved in all facets of their lives was a pretty sharp contrast to what I've seen where the pastor tends to stay at church and deal with "church issues" kwim?
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
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990
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(109 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 7:22 PM
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oh...ok. . .I think the committee that handles things like that is now called "Way's and Means" but yes. . .there is a lot of involvement in different outreach and community activities.
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(108 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 6:50 PM
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> Physical needs??? Do you mean spiritual???
Sorry, I was a little cryptic there I guess, didn't mean to be.
Definitely spiritual, but like Jesus told the disciples when they were going to shoo the people away -- He told them that they should help the people meet their physical needs -- or somehow got that message across -- that's what led to the miracle known as the "miracle of the loaves and fishes".
I just meant that the way the Catholic church seems to go out where people are at and get involved in their daily walk as it interfaces with the real world is cool -- I think that's what God expects and I think they are much better at that sort of thing than most Protestant denominations that I have witnessed.
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
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(107 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 6:21 PM
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Physical needs??? Do you mean spiritual???
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(106 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 4:23 PM
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> Well, I'm not going to go that far. . .If Father
> Jughead and Carm had grown up together, or were
> related, I would say yes, then it would be a
> plausible, but there was never any mention of that,
> and he kinda got around with the other Mafia wives as
> well. Remember Carm called him out on it once - when
> she brought him food and he was with Rosalie eating
> her casserole???
Yeah, she looked more jealous than when Tony's Russian whhhohh (I love the NY accent on that word ) called the house. 
I don't remember if it was immediately or sometime later, but she had some interesting advice for him about his problem being tied to food, movies, etc.
> But, I digress. . .if they would have grown up
> together, then yea, it is appropriate that they would
> hang together (priests are people also, and have
> their interests and their circle of friends).
Yeah, like Fr. Karras meeting the police detective for movies in "The Exorcist".
> but no. . .they are not in a non-influential
> position. Our parish priests knows all of the
> present and past students by name, and how they are
> doing in school. There is a cafe across from my
> office, and one of the parish priests is there every
> morning, at the owners invitation. They sponser and
> sit at a lot of committess (there are so many
> different meeting on a parish, city, county, and
> state level) as well as every day one or more masses
> are said. Than there are hospitals, and funerals,
> and marriage encounters, and debut's to oversee, etc.
> School starts next week, so there are student masses
> s once a week to be planned. (every grade is
> responsible for 2 masses a year.) and Religion
> classes for yearly first holy communion (every
> spring) and Confirmation. Oh, and so many other
> things. . .
Yes, they seem to embody the ideal of meeting the physical needs of the flock while remaining in the world much more than the Protestant denominations I'm aware of.
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
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990
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(105 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 4:00 PM
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Yes. . .it seems that when state, and government stepped in, is when neigborhoods and parishes ceased to be. . . neighborly"
>
> But back to the subject -- it seems that either:
>
> a. The "Father Jughead" storyline was a total
> fabrication.
>
> b. It speaks to the way that priests have been kind
> of downsized out of the influence they previously had
> and are now put in a position of sharing "harmless
> but unproductive" hobbies with their parishes.
>
> --
Well, I'm not going to go that far. . .If Father Jughead and Carm had grown up together, or were related, I would say yes, then it would be a plausible, but there was never any mention of that, and he kinda got around with the other Mafia wives as well. Remember Carm called him out on it once - when she brought him food and he was with Rosalie eating her casserole???
But, I digress. . .if they would have grown up together, then yea, it is appropriate that they would hang together (priests are people also, and have their interests and their circle of friends).
but no. . .they are not in a non-influential position. Our parish priests knows all of the present and past students by name, and how they are doing in school. There is a cafe across from my office, and one of the parish priests is there every morning, at the owners invitation. They sponser and sit at a lot of committess (there are so many different meeting on a parish, city, county, and state level) as well as every day one or more masses are said. Than there are hospitals, and funerals, and marriage encounters, and debut's to oversee, etc. School starts next week, so there are student masses once a week to be planned. (every grade is responsible for 2 masses a year.) and Religion classes for yearly first holy communion (every spring) and Confirmation. Oh, and so many other things. . .
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(104 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 3:15 PM
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> So yes, I can see that happening on a "family" level,
> but not on a "I've got this free time, so I'm going
> to hang out with you, let's watch a movie" basis. It
> would be a bible study group, or comittee meeting or
> a youth group, etc., meeting in someones rec room.
Yes'm -- that's quite a social fabric you describe. I think many things have been lost since those days.
A great deal of social interaction seems to have passed to government -- probably in the same way that families refused handouts coming from their neighbors, but accepted them from the church, many people probably feel more comfortable getting charity from the government than the church.
I think tho, that there is a price paid in oversight when we turn charity over to people who are too disconnected from the situation to be involved.
But back to the subject -- it seems that either:
a. The "Father Jughead" storyline was a total fabrication.
b. It speaks to the way that priests have been kind of downsized out of the influence they previously had and are now put in a position of sharing "harmless but unproductive" hobbies with their parishes.
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
--
Edited by JustHangin at 08/22/2008 12:19 PM PDT
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990
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(103 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 2:56 PM
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Yes and no. . .Back in the day (1900-1960's) parishes were smaller and more defined. Priests (at least where I was raised) were assigned to a parish for indefinative lenghths of time, and knew generations of a family, sometimes even be a person who had been born and grown up in that neighborhood and that parish. Also, before we had marriage counciling, and drug counciling, and theraphy, etc., the Parish, the nuns and the Priests were who we went to. Growing up, the parish priest was like an uncle, always at family celebrations, etc.
All three of my Grandmothers (maternal, paternal and honorary) were born in 1908, and until the 1960's the priests and nuns (separately or in groups) would drop in at least once a week on their parishoners. Reasons - help a new mother or an over burdened mother, geriatic care for old and invalids, provide communion to the bedridden, look in on widows and widowers, provide food to poor families, etc. Also, they would canvas for building and repair funds, ask for volunteers for projects, etc.
My father was emancipated when he was 13 and lived in a boarding home. But since he had been under the jurisdiction of Catholic Charities the Nuns's and priests monitered him, made sure he attended school, helped him find afterschool jobs, and took care of him when he was sick. His honorary mother would send him "care" packages through them.
Also, they would provide food and clothing to needy families in the neighborhood through these visits. Example, if the neighborhood knew that a family was in need, but would not accept charity or hand outs, they would bake an extra loaf of bread, or make an extra pie, they would give it to the nuns or priest to bring to that family. (I guess if it came from the church it was not charity????)
Until my honorary grandmother passed in 1982, when we would go and visit her in Brooklyn, we would take her to mass on sunday. The Parish priest was the same priest who had married my parents, the same priest who had baptised my 2nd brother (the only one born in NY, while my father was overseas) and he still managed to recognize us all, and remember our names, and ages, even though we were technically no longer parishers there, but in South Jersey.
So yes, I can see that happening on a "family" level, but not on a "I've got this free time, so I'm going to hang out with you, let's watch a movie" basis. It would be a bible study group, or comittee meeting or a youth group, etc., meeting in someones rec room.
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(102 of 116)
Aug 22, 2008 1:01 PM
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> I don't think it would have been the ponytail that
> would have been found in his mouth. . .
>
> But Lamo teacher, if Tony ever knew about him. . .I
> would imagine he would have been crucified. . .And he
> had his suspicions about Father "Jughead" Intintola.
> . .
Ya know that "Father Jughead" storyline represented some real fine writing IMO -- I donno enough about every day Catholic life to know how real world it was tho.
In your experience (not necessarily yours personally) do priests sometimes get close to families and even wives this way where they start spending a lot of free time together?
--
I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. - Oprah Winfrey
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