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because we need some
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(76 of 76)
Nov 21, 2009 12:58 PM
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A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
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Posts:
846
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8/13/07
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(75 of 76)
Nov 21, 2009 10:57 AM
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Got this email recently, thought you guys might enjoy.
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there!
Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3' s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever!
And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
NO REMOTES!!!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
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Posts:
3,873
Registered:
9/2/07
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(74 of 76)
Nov 19, 2009 10:46 PM
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l
--
Edited by JimmyTwoNutz at 11/19/2009 7:49 PM PST
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Posts:
135
Registered:
8/11/09
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(73 of 76)
Nov 14, 2009 12:07 PM
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I know how much this story will mean to all of you.
Get the kleenex out....
This one really touched my heart, my cheeks and tummy............
" Dear God"
This christmas please send clothes.......
To put on all the ladies on my Daddys' computer....
Amen
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(72 of 76)
Nov 12, 2009 10:53 AM
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AN IRISH GHOST STORY
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying? and wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other.....
'Look Paddy.....
there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!'
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Posts:
3,873
Registered:
9/2/07
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(71 of 76)
Nov 12, 2009 12:47 AM
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> Be happy!!
> YATTA!!!!!
Sort of a Japanese Full Monty....
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Posts:
4,622
Registered:
8/22/07
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(70 of 76)
Nov 11, 2009 11:08 PM
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Be happy!!
YATTA!!!!!
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Posts:
3,873
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9/2/07
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(69 of 76)
Nov 11, 2009 11:10 AM
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A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.
An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
God bless the enlisted man.
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Posts:
135
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Posts:
4,622
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8/22/07
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(67 of 76)
Oct 29, 2009 1:10 AM
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I have been watching this like a fool. Over and over. I wasn't going to post it here, but what the hell, I'm going to post it EVERYWHERE, and so how could I deprive my JFC friends?
Pirate Captain Halloween rap
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Posts:
12,085
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(66 of 76)
Oct 28, 2009 7:41 PM
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> Why? I feel it's an image of a real office, GR, and
> liked your post, if you care to know. You've never
> offended anyone here, do not have any second thoughts
> about posting on JFC forum.
>
> Our personnel department girl sends out so much
> trash, it's unbelievable, - discounts at stores
> available to the general public - declaring it
> company benefits.
>
> Thought to mention - we one time had "star system",
> with "the employee of the week" I especially
> disliked.
Thanks Sven. But I was only joshin. Like I told Zippy. Theres a couple friends of mine who keep ridin me for not spendin more time on facebook. I also poked Myles just for the fun of it. LOL!
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Posts:
4,622
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8/22/07
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(65 of 76)
Oct 27, 2009 11:43 PM
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Thanks, Zippy!
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144
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2/24/09
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Posts:
2,366
Registered:
8/16/07
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(63 of 76)
Oct 26, 2009 3:54 PM
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Why? I feel it's an image of a real office, GR, and liked your post, if you care to know. You've never offended anyone here, do not have any second thoughts about posting on JFC forum.
Our personnel department girl sends out so much trash, it's unbelievable, - discounts at stores available to the general public - declaring it company benefits.
Thought to mention - we one time had "star system", with "the employee of the week" I especially disliked.
--
Edited by svengali2 at 10/26/2009 4:45 PM PDT
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Posts:
286
Registered:
1/30/09
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(62 of 76)
Oct 26, 2009 3:12 PM
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>> I don't really feel this way but I thought this was
>> pretty funny...
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT4TT7TdJd0
Ok, anyone else POKES me.......and I'll kill ya !
, I love that vid
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