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because we need some
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(41 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 12:08 PM
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Someone deleted the YouTube Cialis parody I posted here.... I guess HBO can have "Hung"..... But to make fun of erectile dysfunction is somehow crossing a line....
"Life is hard...... with Cialis"
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Edited by JimmyTwoNutz at 10/02/2009 9:10 AM PDT
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(40 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 10:48 AM
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The joke is like a newspaper, it lives just a day. Old jokes that everyone knows are typically not funny.
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(39 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 10:41 AM
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So.... Does it make the joke any less funny?
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(38 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 10:37 AM
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The joke about horse's ass and flies can be addressed to anyone you intend to belittle.
"A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, ?Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya??
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said??Well yeah, if that?s what they are?I never heard of circle flies.? So the farmer says??Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they?re called circle flies because they?re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.?
The trooper says, ?Oh,? and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, ?Hey?wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass??
The farmer says, ?Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass.?
The trooper says, ?Well, that?s a good thing,? and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, ?Hard to fool them flies though."
BTW, I heard it in my old country, in a different language. I think it was about a Jew.
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Edited by svengali2 at 10/02/2009 7:39 AM PDT
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Edited by svengali2 at 10/02/2009 7:40 AM PDT
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Guest
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(36 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 5:50 AM
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a friend of mine had to call in sick to work this week... she said she was calling with Anal Blindness... i asked her what the hell is that? she said, I told the boss I don't see my ass coming in to work today!
thank goddess its friday!!
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(35 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 12:31 AM
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A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan. Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush?s home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
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(34 of 86)
Oct 2, 2009 12:29 AM
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A Nurse walks into a bank,
Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check,
She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse
And tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake,
She looks at the flabbergasted teller
And without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great....that's just great...
Some asshole's got my pen!'
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(33 of 86)
Sep 30, 2009 10:56 AM
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Biker & Guy with a Bad Day
A short guy is sitting at a bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big, trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?"
The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home." He continues, crying even harder. "Then I found my wife in bed with
the gardener and my dog bit me. So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."
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(30 of 86)
Sep 26, 2009 11:36 AM
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They're not all great, but many are very good.
21 accents
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(29 of 86)
Sep 25, 2009 7:40 PM
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> No, GR, he didn't go to prison, just had to pay
> restitution, I think.
Thats a federal offense. It should be punishable with prison time. Ever see the movie "Murder in the First"?
It was a true story about a kid who got sent to prison for stealing a loaf of bread which doubled as a post office. His parents died and he was trying to feed his little sister. It was Kevin Bacons finest moment imo.
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Posts:
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(27 of 86)
Sep 25, 2009 3:38 PM
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In June the Brighton and Hove City Council ordered nature-lover Hilaire Purbrick, 45, out of the cave that has been his residence for 16 years, citing its lack of a "fire exit." [Daily Telegraph, 6-17-09]
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