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Hello Bill Maher fans -
As you all know, due to the WGA strike there are no New Rules on Real Time with Bill Maher. However, with the primaries in full swing and Bush in the Middle East we recognize the need for them! So - we're creating this thread hoping that you'll tell us YOUR new rules!
If we get enough usable submissions, we'll put together a feature on HBO.com.
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Posts:
13
Registered:
6/4/09
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(2079 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 13, 2009 6:10 PM
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New Rule:
If your selling high grade Marijuana then do your country a service by including voting vouchers to legalize medical marijuana with every bag sold, if this was done Weed would be legal, we would be out of our national debt & doctors can stop prescribing drugs that kill us.
I will start the process, follow me.
www.stoparrestingpatients.com
this is the website where I signed up to be a volunteer to be a medical marijuana activist.
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 3:12 PM PDT
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 3:12 PM PDT
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Posts:
13
Registered:
6/4/09
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(2078 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 13, 2009 5:58 PM
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New Rule :
If we dont have Nationalized healthcare in the works by the second year of Obama's term we as a country should all at once migrate north (Canada), & live longer healthier lives without ever seeing another bill from a medical establishment (like the Mexicans do).
20 years later .....
America will be the new Mexico & Canadians/EXAmericans will be the the ones building the fence along the northern border to stop US President Sanchez & VP (whatever) Bush from making up a fake war only to invade, enslave, & heavily tax us for another 400 years.
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 3:05 PM PDT
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 3:06 PM PDT
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 3:06 PM PDT
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Posts:
13
Registered:
6/4/09
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(2077 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 13, 2009 5:47 PM
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New Rule:
If your shot in the head outside of a night club in NYC by the woman your having an affair with while your wife is watching your four kids at home in Mississippi then you are not aloud to have anybody say anything remotely good about you as a person at your funeral (period). (McNair) The sad thing is that nobody even cared that he was cheating on his wife, he somehow became the victim in this case. What I wouldnt give for those get outta jail free cards.
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 2:49 PM PDT
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Edited by jmaturo84 at 07/13/2009 2:54 PM PDT
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Posts:
1
Registered:
7/12/09
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(2076 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 12, 2009 5:57 PM
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Number One:
Some one should tell Larry King that Michael Jackson is dead. And maybe CNN, as well. If I wanted the "The Michael Channel: All Michael, All The Time", I would have signed up for it!
Number Two:
Would some one Please, tell the Republicans that your average, thinking American is NOT looking for a "moral" leader? We're looking for intelligent ones, Thank You, very much. The LAST place I would look for morality, is in a politician.
Number Three:
Can we (America) please, get some kind of national health service? I'm getting tired of being one major illness away from pushing my stuff around in a shopping cart!
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Edited by fooddood at 07/12/2009 2:57 PM PDT
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Edited by fooddood at 07/12/2009 2:58 PM PDT
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Posts:
4,981
Registered:
3/19/05
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(2075 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 11, 2009 12:39 AM
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> NEW RULE: If you're a U. S. Senator, and you can't
> afford to pay off your mistress, you can't afford to
> HAVE a mistress.
>
> Sen. John Ensign has revealed that his parents
> coughed up $96,000 in hush money to his ex-mistress.
> Even more embarrassing than getting caught with your
> r pants down, I think, is to have to run to mommy and
> daddy -- at that age and position -- to bail you
> out.
>
> Then again, Ensign might be the only member of
> Congress who wasn't fucking the American taxpayers to
> pay for fucking his girlfriend.
>
> --
> Edited by russfirestone at 07/10/2009 4:47 PM PDT
>
> --
> Edited by russfirestone at 07/10/2009 4:48 PM PDT
russ,
Ensign didn't have enough sense to tap into the Republican "slush/hush funds" like Tricky Dick. But those "gifts" probably always have strings attached.
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"W stands for WORST!!!!!!!!"
"Only idiots follow an idiot" - s2grand
"Follow the Money" - Mark Felt AKA "Deep Throat"
"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home." - Edward R. Murrow
"Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own fact" - Daniel Patrick Moynihan
The first casualty when war comes is the truth. - Senator Hiram Johnson in 1917
Who murdered Ray Lemme, Michael Connell and George de Mohrenschildt??
Keep the Internet FREE!!!
FREE Don Siegelman!!!
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Posts:
749
Registered:
11/28/08
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(2074 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 10, 2009 7:45 PM
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NEW RULE: If you're a U. S. Senator, and you can't afford to pay off your mistress, you can't afford to HAVE a mistress.
Sen. John Ensign has revealed that his parents coughed up $96,000 in hush money to his ex-mistress. Even more embarrassing than getting caught with your pants down, I think, is to have to run to mommy and daddy -- at that age and position -- to bail you out.
Then again, Ensign might be the only member of Congress who wasn't fucking the American taxpayers to pay for fucking his girlfriend.
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Edited by russfirestone at 07/10/2009 4:47 PM PDT
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Edited by russfirestone at 07/10/2009 4:48 PM PDT
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Posts:
3
Registered:
5/24/08
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(2073 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 8, 2009 10:04 AM
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Regarding MJ's Funeral
NEW RULE: There's no cheering at funerals.
This should go without saying, but...
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Posts:
1
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7/7/09
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(2072 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 7, 2009 11:45 PM
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msfonics,
Bill Maher isn't the only comedian with a television show to "rag" on Barrack Obama. John Stewart is another such comic, and to be honest, I don't think that they're actually being all that hard on him. They haven't made jokes about his personality, intelligence, or religious affiliations; which is usually fair game for Bill. What they have been doing is making comments on his apparent back-peddling, side-stepping, and hemming and hawing. They can only comment based upon appearance, simply because they are not privy to the private. Personally, I would be much harder on Obama because he recently admitted to, albeit indirectly, using his official powers for a personal agenda.
When Barrack spoke about the increase in taxes on tobacco products, he spoke of how hard it was for him to break his addiction to cigarettes. While it is understandable to be concerned that cigarette manufacturers might be gearing new flavors to entice young smokers, and maybe even children, aren't both smokers and manufacturers still entitled to the same freedoms that everyone else is under the Constitution?
I smoke, and started smoking while serving my country in the military. It's not the taxes nor the disgusted looks from nonsmokers that bother me. What bothers me is the unfairness of raising taxes based upon claims of addiction and health costs. It bothers me because economically, alcohol is just as susceptible to increased taxation as is cigarettes if the same claims are applied to it. However, historically alcohol has not received the same treatment as tobacco since the Prohibition.
So, while I once did believe in Obama, I've lost considerable trust in him over not what Bill Maher has said, but over Obama's own words and deeds. I mean, if you have a Secretary of State, and the country's economy is still uncertain, shouldn't Hilary be allowed to do her job, so you can focus on your own responsibilities? Political visits are important, but do they truly hold a higher priority over our country's questionable economy? In this, I can't help but agree with Bill Maher and John Stewart. I even agree with them in the legalization of marijuana, and I don't smoke it, and have no personal interest in smoking it. Unfortunately, I believe that both Bill and John would disagree with me if alcohol received an equivalent taxation based upon percentage as does cigarettes. And I know most politicians would disagree with my wanting to see them spend the first six months of every four year term, or four years depending upon role, living on the same fixed income,and the same medical coverage as people on welfare do today. I'm not on welfare, but I do believe reality and experience are much better teachers than professors or teaching assistants.
Fortunately, you are welcome to disagree with me. Freedom of speech is one of the great aspects, albeit a shrinking one, which makes this country what it is. Bill Maher is also entitled to that same right, and has not overstepped his bounds thus far using it. I don't like or agree with everything he says about religion, and I'm an aetheist. He speaks and jokes, more often than not, without malice. If you feel that he is ragging on Obama, perhaps you might want to look closer at Obama, since that is the source of Bill's ragging. You might also want to recognize that Bill has also made himself a public figure, and as such is as much a target as Obama.
New Rule:
Politicians should stop thinking of themselves as being better than the general public, and on a more equal standing with your typical street hooker. If you get paid by our taxes, and you're spending too much time making a public spectacle of yourself, then don't be too shocked and upset if someone chooses to hold you accountable by bending you over and f*cking you up the a$$. This might be a free country, but if you're getting a paycheck, then do your damn job.
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Posts:
2,076
Registered:
3/13/08
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(2071 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 4, 2009 7:02 PM
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ms,
Disagree, President's need a push ALWAYS, even if their name is Obama. Love what Bill is doing, as he's out front on an issue that has already gained traction across the popular media spectrum. Keep it up Bill.
DaN
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Posts:
2
Registered:
7/3/09
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(2070 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 4, 2009 5:58 PM
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Bill Maher should stop ragging on prez. We know his career was sagging a bit, now everyone's talking about his sad hey look at me remarks. Things like don't get too fond of the 'prez' why not! That's why we voted and some campaigned for him. In office a short time with very few glitches and extending the same courtesies to Bush that Bush extended to Clinton sounds like a good trade off to me. I'm even thinking of discontinuing my subscription to HBO if he's gonna act like that! Prez needs support not more problems & disgruntle fans. And that's my rulin!
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Posts:
3,032
Registered:
3/21/08
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(2069 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 4, 2009 11:51 AM
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> Americans need to stop being sheep and call their
> Senators and threaten them with loss of their jobs if
> they will not allow single payer as option.
BRAV-O!!
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Posts:
749
Registered:
11/28/08
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(2068 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 4, 2009 4:00 AM
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NEW RULE: Politicians using God's name in their campaign ads must put God on camera at the end saying, "Hello. I'm God, and I approve this message."
And, if not God, then Jesus. (Same thing, right?) Hell, I'll settle for any of the disciples... except Judas, of course -- his word doesn't mean much.
The point is: you can't claim the endorsement of someone who's been unavailable for comment for over 2,000 years.
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Posts:
5
Registered:
7/2/09
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(2067 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 3, 2009 10:46 PM
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New Rule;
Hey Webmaster! the WGA strike is like 2 years old. Change the title of this thread already.
New Rule, If Sarah Palins' only title is former candidate for vice president of the Republican party, then we don't need to hear anything from her or about her ever again. Seriously.
New Rule; Loud pipes don't save lives. They only announce that the dirtbags are coming. Have you seen these t-shirts? Its an excuse by motorbikers to break noise and pollution laws. We don't need your loud pipes to warn us you are coming. We can tell you are coming by the smell. If you are fortunate enough to live in a quaint, beautiful city in this country, you know what I am talking about. Anywhere from 2 to 10 thousand bottom of the barrel bikers invade your town twice a year, breaking various laws and annoying everyone with their love of- not motorcycles- themselves.
You bikers claim to be rebels and free spirits and defenders of the American spirit of individuality. But you all have that unshaven look, wear the same black t-shirt with the corporate logo, and ride the inferior, outdated, out of tune bikes by the same morally bankrupt manufacturer. You think you are so macho and scary and tough and that you are free to break the law. But you really are the poster child of why we have laws in the first place. If you want to be taken at all seriously: Seriously, take a bath. And maybe consider spending some of your oil change money on a breast lift for your bitch. (Show a picture of a saggy breasted tattooed, toothless woman on the back of a Harley- shouldn't be too hard to find)
New Rule on North Korea;
Nobody gives a shit about you and they never will. You are a short, ugly, tasteless, and cowardly dictator who inherited his job from his limp dicked daddy. You can launch all the missiles and test all the bombs you want and nobody will ever give a shit.
You remind me of the biggest loser, nerd, pathetic punchbag in high school who grew up to be a successful insurance agent. Nobody gives a shit. Not now, not then, not ever. Until you get a life, don't expect anyone to care about it. Oh, and you are China's little bitch. Get over yourself.
And come to think of it, the same goes for the bikers and Sarah Palin. You are all the unwanted guests in our town who don't tip and make way too much noise. Never mind the smell. Like Bush, you will go home thinking "Mission accomplished!" but everyone else is thinking, what and asshole!
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Posts:
4
Registered:
7/3/09
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(2066 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 3, 2009 4:48 PM
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Americans need to stop being sheep and call their Senators and threaten them with loss of their jobs if they will not allow single payer as option.
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Posts:
4
Registered:
7/3/09
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(2065 of 2469)
Re: What are your New Rules?
Jul 3, 2009 4:44 PM
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No more week long rants by the cable news networks on Michael Jackson, Iam sure more inportant stuff happened in the world. i am so tired of them.
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