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Paul
A psychoanalyst in his 50s who conducts his practice from a home office, Paul has two boys and a girl with his wife Kate, and his career has led him to a respected and successful place. But Paul is beginning to feel his tolerance wane behind the easygoing front he displays for his patients; even worse, his gut reactions are beginning to seep through the cracks. After four particularly trying days of therapy, Paul decides he needs the counsel of a retired therapist, Gina.
Gina
Gina served as Paul's professional supervisor years ago. Since then, she has lost her husband, turned 60, retired as a therapist and started writing a novel. Yet when Paul unexpectedly calls her to discuss the growing issues with his practice, Gina allows him to return, renewing a complicated relationship between them.
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(736 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 10:57 AM
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> I was very uncomfortable seeing Paul at Laura's
> house. I was embarrassed for him. He looked like
> what he was -- a middle-aged man chasing after a
> woman young enough to be his daughter. Of course, I
> never understood his attraction to Laura from the
> very start so I guess I was bound to dislike this.
> He seemed lesser somehow than that man in the
> he therapist's chair -- which is of course how he
> wound up feeling, to his credit I believe.
>
> I'm not saying things can't work out between older
> men/younger women -- but I just didn't buy into this
> relationship, mostly because I felt she was never as
> deeply invested in it as he was.
I've never understood the "young enough to be his daughter" thing. Or for that matter, the "young enough to be her son" thing. If the other person in fact is *not* the daughter/son, then who cares? It's just a societal judgment to say he is supposed to be ashamed of being interested in a woman that young.
I only feel "embarrassed" for the person when its obvious that the young woman/man is a trophy object--a signal to others that the possessor's charisma, wealth, or whatever can still attract that which is highly valued and desired by others--a prime example, Larry King and his wife.
I do agree, though, that the Paul/Laura thing didn't feel like it was ever going to work, because: (1) She was more of a superficial fantasy to him than a newfound soulmate. (2) Laura 's past behavior indicated that she'd always be looking for a new lover that she thought would fix her life. It was only a matter of time before she became disappointed in Paul and moved on. In fact, it had already begun to happen.
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95
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(735 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 9:11 AM
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I have to see this again before I can discuss it intelligently.
You all "saw," in both senses of the word, stuff I "missed," again, in both senses.
See Member Thread about keeping in touch.
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(734 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 9:11 AM
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I have to see this again before I can discuss it intelligently.
You all "saw," in both senses of the word, stuff I "missed," again, in both senses.
See Member Thread about keeping in touch.
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881
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(733 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 8:39 AM
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River
>>>In their conversation, he did to Laura what he always did to Kate . . . analyzed her, interpreted her. And she rejected this. She'd already moved on. It's why she wasn't answering the phone.
Yes exactly!
Gina also explained Paul's attraction to Laura. Said it's because Laura reminds him of Kate when Paul first meets her and (like Laura) she needed his help. But Kate got STRONGER. Because of Paul's helping her, she's MOVED ON, MATURED, just like Laura.
The problem was the way Paul hadn't Matured. He was still a PETER PAN living in a romatic NEVER NEVER LAND (just like his father was who marries the woman 26 yrs younger ... then prentends to be the "Old Man" tagging along when he takes his wife out to dinner with Paul).
Paul's description of the situation with his father and step mother was extremely PERVERSE!
Here's what's going on:
EVERYBODY has BOTH a MASCULINE & a FEMININE SIDE to their personality.
In a course called THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GENDER, the professor explains
how falling in love is nothing more than one person being attracted
to the more developed and dominant Masculine or Feminine traits of
another person that they are lacking in themselves.
In the so called traditional marriage, a female with
feminine traits often marries a male with more masculine traits
(although a male with feminine traits may also chose a wife who has
developed more of her masculine personality traits as well).
In the
course of time, a wife will then tend to take on her husbands
masculine personality traits, and he *may* likewise develop some of
her feminine personality traits.
But a problem that frequently developes in our society is one where the female
eventually takes on her husbands more masculine personality traits,
yet her husband fails to develope the more feminine side of his
personality.
In such a case, divorce is often the result, due to the
way the wife is no longer interested in playing the *sweet* nurturing *mother type of role* to her husband any more.
And after the divorce, the husband tends to marry another wife,
(usually a younger woman like Laura), usually another one who still hasn't yet
developed her masculine side, again someone who is willing to mother him and nurture
him.
And if the husband still fails to develope the feminine side of
his personality in a relationship with his 2nd wife (who also developes her
masculine side), the result may be still another divorce for the same
reason again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>perhaps his failure with Laura will help him see the need to grow up and relate to a woman on more than a patient/therapist level...It would be nice to see him try (are you listening, HBO?)
Bingo! By gosh you've GOT IT again River!
And yes HBO, we need to see "WHAT'S NEXT. How Paul's going to resolve the BIG MESS he's in.
Kate's MOVED ON, Laura's Moved on, and Paul's still stuck, doesn't yet realize how he's also Moved on (by not making the same mistake his father made).
Things like this take time to SINK IN. Become part of our CONSCIOUSNESS. But after he talks some more with Gina, hopefully an intellegent guy like Paul is will eventually GET IT. Comprehend how and why he's done the right thing.
Having sex with Laura would be a MAJOR BETRAYAL (esp after Paul promised her he'd NEVER become another David and abuse her that way).
Gina also explained how Laura was OFF LIMITS forever. She'd always be his Patient, no matter if it was 6 mos or 10 yrs later.
Gina was right about this. Paul knows this.
In the Season 2 version from Israel they have Lenny in therapy. Hope we'll get to see an HBO version of this!
Thanks again River for posting your wonderful messages! I'll miss you too! Hope to see you back here again so we can discuss Season 2.
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(732 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 6:54 AM
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I was very uncomfortable seeing Paul at Laura's house. I was embarrassed for him. He looked like what he was -- a middle-aged man chasing after a woman young enough to be his daughter. Of course, I never understood his attraction to Laura from the very start so I guess I was bound to dislike this. He seemed lesser somehow than that man in the therapist's chair -- which is of course how he wound up feeling, to his credit I believe.
I'm not saying things can't work out between older men/younger women -- but I just didn't buy into this relationship, mostly because I felt she was never as deeply invested in it as he was.
In their conversation, he did to Laura what he always did to Kate . . . analyzed her, interpreted her. And she rejected this. She'd already moved on. It's why she wasn't answering the phone.
I don't think (maybe it's wishful thinking) that Kate said anything to Rosie. Rosie's been keeping an eye on her dad lately . . . maybe she was just checking in. I thought of her phone call as a kind of lifeline . . . a reality check in the midst of the Laura unreality.
I liked the things that Gina said to him . . . somewhere inside his instincts took over and he couldn't betray who he was. I like that she will continue to see him. I don't know if he can work things out with Kate, but perhaps his failure with Laura will help him see the need to grow up and relate to a woman on more than a patient/therapist level. He may yet tap unused resources within himself. It would be nice to see him try (are you listening, HBO?)
As for Amy and Jake . . . I, too, was touched by their memory of Lenny and the comics . . . and Jake reaching out for her hand at the end of the session. Amy needs massive amounts of therapy, but now that she seems to have reached a place where she understands what she's losing (at least on some level -- as evidenced by what I took to be her very sincere breakdown in the last session),
and how much help she needs -- perhaps she's ready to take therapy seriously. It may be too late for her and Jake, but for Lenny's sake they need to find a way to relate to one another.
Some people seem to think Sophie is finished with therapy.
I don't believe that at all. After she returns from Denver she'll be back to see Paul -- and I'll bet there will be a few phone calls while she's gone. She's got a ways to go, though she's clearly taken charge of her own recovery now,
and has a better understanding of what she needs to do.
I'm going to worry about Roy and his grandfather. Sometimes things that happen aren't about you -- they're about your children. I think Roy has a chance to forge a better relationship with Alex's dad than Alex ever had, in part because of the presence of that gaping hole between them.
Okay. Enough. I'm out of here. It's been great, everyone. I'll miss this show and all of you. You've really inspired and enlightened me. Thank you.
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(731 of 871)
Re: Friday - Paul & Gina -- Paul's terror?
Mar 29, 2008 4:26 AM
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Many thanks, juleseliot, for the article link. I'm not sure about the observation every husband on In Treatment watches his wife sleep at a critical point in the marriage, though. Do we know that any of the marriages weren't irrevokably ruptured by the time this happened?
It's beyond me why Paul's candor with Kate would be viewed as dumb, much less sadistic. It's a testament to Paul's integrity. Unlike Paul, Kate isn't left to fear her spouse will sneak around lying to her and her children.
I sure hope Kate didn't deliberately or recklessly tip off Rosie. I wish I had more confidence about this, but I'd like to think Kate didn't. I believe Rosie has shown herself to be plenty perceptive to know when to place a timely call without a blatant tip-off.
I didn't think Laura behaved inappropriately. As usual, Laura accurately told Paul, us, how she felt, how Paul felt. Laura was frustrated -- tired, as Paul recognized, of being jerked around, strung along. She's not over Paul, but she wants to be happy, rightly feels she deserves to be happy. If Paul can't comfortably consummate his feelings for her without hemming and hawing, without hauling his baggage along, then how could Laura be happy no matter how much she continues to love Paul?: Paul (and his ties to his family) would continue to torture them both.
Also, Paul's terror of "losing control." Paul initially resists Gina's characterization of his panic attack and flight as a moral response. I remain partial to Paul's initial description, as Laura has accused him all along, of cowardice. Unlike Gina, I think he did indeed sabotage himself.
What chance does Paul have of having a passionate romance with anyone, including Kate, so long as he remains terrified of "losing control", of being "swallowed" up?
Paul tells Amy that great passion is not enough to sustain a couple for a lifetime. How would he know -- first-hand anyway? Amy incisively asks him, "What is [enough]?" Paul responds he wishes he knew the answer. Sad. Pathetic.
Or so it seems to me. No great triumph. Sorry Gina. Sorry Paul. Sorry Laura!
Paul does feel a great loss: maybe, as he says, the last love of his life. But so long as he's riddled by that fear, will great romance ever really be in his grasp?
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(729 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 2:15 AM
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> here's a really good piece in the boston globe about
> the show:
>
> http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2008/03/28/separa
> tion_anxiety_as_in_treatment_ends/
>
> very insightful.
Good article.
Estimated 2 million viewers? I figured it was less than that, the way it's been hammered that the rating are low. Is 2 million so bad for a lower budget HBO show?
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239
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(728 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 2:12 AM
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I thought I'd get sick if Paul actually touched Laura and violated all of his professional boundaries.
Apparently, so did he.
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(727 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 2:10 AM
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> > Rosie's phone call to Paul while Laura is
> gabbing:
> > IMPECCABLE TIMING!!! I thought," Go ahead,
> Paul,
> > answer the phone while shushing Laura. Nice way
> to
> > start the great love affair." Reality is
> really
> > inconvenient.
> > And what a surprise! Laura silently steers
> herself
> > into the bedroom and begins disrobing.
> > Paul's panic attack was like a thunderbolt from
> > heaven.
> > But, Paul still has to go home! Hurry up, Season
> 2!
> >
> > --
> > "Did you get your end near the lady, my
> brother?"
> > Linc, "JFC"
>
> I've had the real life experience of a phone call
> like that before I was heading to bed with someone.
> YIKES !!!
You naughty person! ![]:)](http://boards.hbo.com/images/emoticons/devil.gif)
--
"Did you get your end near the lady, my brother?" Linc, "JFC"
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(726 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 2:07 AM
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> > Rosie's phone call to Paul while Laura is
> gabbing:
>
> Didn't you wonder why Rosie was calling Paul just
> then? Did Rosie overhear Paul tell Kate he was going
> to Laura's or did Kate break-down and say something
> to Rosie??
>
>
> > And what a surprise! Laura silently steers
> herself
> > into the bedroom and begins disrobing.
>
> That smacked of something a hooker would do, so hard,
> so cold..
1974rn: You read my mind! I thought Oh geez! Would Kate have been so upset that she shared info with Rosie?? Hope not!
And Laura: I watched this twice (while cringing in the corner!!) waiting for Laura to change that deadpan expression, but she just pulled off her sweater and blouse looking like a blow-up doll! Gawd.
--
"Did you get your end near the lady, my brother?" Linc, "JFC"
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Mar 29, 2008 1:45 AM
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> > I didn't think it was sadistic for Paul to tell
> Kate
> > he was going to Laura. I think he owed her that
> as
> > painful as it must have been for her to hear.
>
> How so? Kate could have been blissfully obilious
> until Paul figured out what he was doing about Laura.
> In retrospect, I'll bet he wished he'd made that
> t choice with Kate instead, no?
Maybe. But I think you could argue it both ways. Sadistic is such an extreme word. It means that he took pleasure in causing her pain. I don't think that's true.
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(723 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 1:33 AM
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> I didn't think it was sadistic for Paul to tell Kate
> he was going to Laura. I think he owed her that as
> painful as it must have been for her to hear.
How so? Kate could have been blissfully obilious until Paul figured out what he was doing about Laura. In retrospect, I'll bet he wished he'd made that choice with Kate instead, no?
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(722 of 871)
Mar 29, 2008 1:11 AM
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I didn't think it was sadistic for Paul to tell Kate he was going to Laura. I think he owed her that as painful as it must have been for her to hear.
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