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Story for Diba

[Replies: 73]
He can see his breath, and he blows into his cupped hands, trying to warm them. The day is bitter cold and the wind is biting. He glances nervously at his watch, and back to the bus schedule on the post. The damn bus should have been there twenty minutes ago. He shoves his hands angrily into the pockets of his jacket, and hops up and down, trying to warm his body and create blood flow to his his freezing feet.

He notices her inside the glass enclosed shelter, and he wonders what she could be listening to on her ipod. She seems to be enjoying whatever it is she hears, as she smiles occasionally, and is nodding her head slightly to the sounds only she can hear.

He smiles at the sight of her smile, and she glances up at him, their eyes locked, until he shyly turns away, and stares a little too intently at the schedule once again. He turns his head slightly, just to see if she's still looking at him, and finds himself disappointed that she is not. He bites the side of his lip, and absent mindedly kicks at a clump of snow.

Turning to look uselessly at the schedule yet again, he almost knocks into her. She is tracing her finger from the bus number to the times, and he watches her face crinkle comically in an angry frown. She holds her finger on the time posted, and looks at him.

"Do you have the time?" She asks him, and he is sure that it is the sweetest voice he has ever heard.

"Uh, yeah, it's 11:35," he shoves his hands back into his pockets.

She thanks him, and returns to the shelter, and he decides he might as well follow her. Only to get out of the wind, he tries to convince himself.

Is that okay, Diba?? I'll continue later, and I hope it helps you feel better!!! Where would you like the story to go next?? hmmmmmm??? wink wink
Last Post Nov 5, 2009 4:38 PM by: LadyLeslie
LadyLeslie
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 5, 2009 4:38 PM
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I agree, Diba...you go ahead and keep that to yourself now, ya hear?
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 5, 2009 4:29 PM
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Oooh, to be a fly on the wall inside your head, Diba. Then again, maybe I'd turn red all over...strike that!! Carry on, Diba, with your own private cliffhanger....


You wish, LL.... you wish.....
I think its best if I keep this to myself :^O
LadyLeslie
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 5, 2009 4:22 PM
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Oooh, to be a fly on the wall inside your head, Diba. Then again, maybe I'd turn red all over...strike that!! Carry on, Diba, with your own private cliffhanger....
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 5, 2009 3:12 PM
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I don't know how many times I have read the story, but I love it so much.

And the ending, well, I have continued the story.
In my head that is....

And I love those things that are popping up in my head a lot too.....
Lets say its not so cold anymore....]:)
LadyLeslie
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 1, 2009 12:53 PM
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To Jen's credit, she's very talented at writing romance without sex, too. Several examples of that are in her book, Saved, even though she tossed in some trysts between the main characters.

I kinda thought she might have taken us on a journey of courtship and a bit of poignant discovery of Shane's backstory because she's so skilled at doing that, but, hey, a writer's block can be a huge pain. I still thoroughly enjoyed reading Jen's writing again. Thanks, Jen.

--
Edited by LadyLeslie at 11/05/2009 1:20 PM PST
Noraa
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 1, 2009 8:46 AM
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Jenlor, thanks for finishing your story.
I think you did it in a very surprising and nice way.
To be honest, I had worried a little about that I would feel a little shy if you had written very detailed about this eh, Shane and the woman having sex.
Why I feel that way, I am not sure. It is maybe because behind the name Shane I am thinking about Gabriel... And in a way it would feel too close and intimate to think about Gabriel having sex. And what if he had read about that in this thread himself?

So your story ended perfect to me.
But why I am thinking like this about this, I am not sure.
Maybe I am afraid to not show enough respect for Gabriel? But on the other hand, I guess he would not be angry about women having fantasies about him either, I guess.
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Re: Story for Diba

Nov 1, 2009 12:15 AM
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You guys are too kind......seriously....

It's funny, bocaraton, that you should say that about your daughter writing.

My book was totally finished before I even mentioned to my mom that I was writing anything. AND, after much begging and pleading on her part, I finally let her read it. BUT, it was the sex scenes that gave me the greatest doubt in my mind. I knew my mother had read many books, and some of them had to have had sex in them. HOWEVER, the thought of her reading something that I had conjured up, just sorta freaked me out. JUST EW and ICK.

She read the book, and didn't mention the sex. And neither did I. She enjoyed the book, and was proud of me. I guess, in the long run, that is all that really matters.
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 4:52 PM
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Great story Jen! I did read your book (quite a relief after Two Birds). I'm going to pass it on to my daughter whose writing her first book-a romantic novel. I told her no one would read it if there wasn't any sex in it--so she put some scenes in but now wouldn't let me read it! she said there too explicit! That's the first thing I want to read, daughter dear. Anyway, I love you writings-a real talent.
iamyuneek
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 4:38 PM
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Yeah Jen, I hear ya with writing down the intimate stuff in a public setting, I couldnt do it either. But hey, it's a start for your next book? When you finish I will be first ine line (or should I say one of the first) to buy it..heehee

Jackie Collins move over!
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 4:25 PM
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I loved your ending, Jenlor. Then we all can imagine what we wants to happen.... I have no problems fantasizing about that...oh no, no problems at all....

Thank you for your lovely story, any time you would like to write some more, just feel free to post them to us....
I think I can say from all of us, we love your writing:-x
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 9:29 AM
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Phew, thanks SB.....keep me on the straight and narrow, woman!!! hahahhahaha

I'm actually not crazy, and I am able to function in most social situations, without causing too much mayhem. But it's good to know you have my back!!

hahahhahaa
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 9:21 AM
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> OH GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?????
>
> Could it be, that because I'm thinking that there is
> a possibility of being in DC and that he may be in DC
> and that I may actually see him face to face, that I
> have lost my nerve?? That I'm subconsciously tryin
> to behave myself??
>
> Nah, that's not it.....I'm sure.....:O


That byrneing boat sailed a long time ago, Jen! But should the need arise, I'll restrain you if you start gettin.' too"athletic" :^O
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 9:03 AM
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I know, I know...it's a pathetic ending, and I don't know how to describe the 'writer's block' that I have when it comes to the sex!!

I just sat there, staring at the screen, IMAGINING what was gonna be going on, but just unable to write it down. I was almost, gasp, (I know this is going to sound shocking), embarrassed, or shy somehow.

OH GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?????

Could it be, that because I'm thinking that there is a possibility of being in DC and that he may be in DC and that I may actually see him face to face, that I have lost my nerve?? That I'm subconsciously tryin to behave myself??

Nah, that's not it.....I'm sure.....:O
LadyLeslie
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 31, 2009 6:13 AM
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Well, it's not quite the blackout debacle, but I certainly didn't see THAT ending coming. Thanks again for sharing your talents, Jen. Brava, Woman!
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Re: Story for Diba

Oct 30, 2009 8:29 PM
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Holding out her hand, she waits until he places his own hand into hers. She shudders as their palms meet, and she drags him quite forcefully into her house, slamming the door behind her. She rests her back heavily against the door, and he approaches her slowly, looking her up and down, and settling his gaze into her eyes. His lids partially close, and he licks his lips, and leans his complete weight against her, kissing her forcefully. She moans softly, and his hands struggle with the buttons of her coat, as her hands make their way to his hair. He stops kissing her just long enough to glance quickly at the button he is currently working on, and they both laugh at his clumsiness. She helps him, and she throws her coat onto the floor, and begins to get him out of his.

***************************

"Sir, SIR," she says to him, and he wonders why she is being so formal all of a sudden. Her hand reaches out and shakes his shoulder, and he laughs at her, wondering why she is shaking him.

He wakes up.

"This is the last stop," the driver says. Shane shakes his head, gives him a confused smile, stands up, and leaves the warmth of the bus. He shoves his hands into his pockets, and walks slowly towards town, needing the fresh air to clear his mind.


The End........

****************************


I hope the ending doesn't disappoint you all.......I just couldn't get into hot and heavy details of their sex.......I feel bad.....hahahaha

Don't hate me.......:)
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