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If your drinkin' buddy passes while you're driving and bored, giving him a handjob is a great way to pass the time.
If your granddaughter's dating a 173 year old vampire and the grandson is arrested for murder, booking a guest speaker for your club should be your main concern.
A vampire's entire body vibrates during sex
Getting it on with a vampire isn't completely repulsive
If your grandchildren discuss screwing vampires for money, see if they can get one to speak at your club.
Verbally abusing customers, slapping your boss and quitting your job entitles you to complain about how much your life sucks.
Writing dialog like "I just happen to think that judging an entire group of people based on the actions of a few individuals within that group is morally wrong!" while stereotyping several groups of people yourself can be accomplished with a sincere face.
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Posts:
34
Registered:
11/18/08
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(939 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Dec 1, 2008 11:40 PM
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>That PTSD can get into food
lmao i crackin up at this one im actually tearing
i remembered you said you go for merlot~eddie
i said i work at merlottes~lafayette
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Posts:
128
Registered:
9/28/08
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(938 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Dec 1, 2008 11:26 PM
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Bill has an insane affection for stupid cattle.
A female vampire doesn't have to sit like a lady.
That "Eggs" is really Satan in a Sunday hat.
There's good money in tributes.
That Tara's fashion lessons from Maryann are a relief.
That miracle is just another word for magic.
That PTSD can get into food.
That no one's ever really gone.
And that the good parts always stay put.
--
"Let me out! I want to do somethin bad." Jessica
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Posts:
387
Registered:
10/13/08
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(937 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 4:58 PM
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Also, how far away is Merlotte's from Sookie's house??
It took a long time for Rene to drive Sookie home.
--
"...and as he came inside me I felt him draw on the little wound." (Book 1, p 145)
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Posts:
387
Registered:
10/13/08
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(936 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 4:17 PM
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I learned that Lafayette had pretty pedicured feet. I think I'm actually wearing the same nail polish color.
--
"...and as he came inside me I felt him draw on the little wound." (Book 1, p 145)
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Posts:
419
Registered:
9/18/08
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(935 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 3:33 PM
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I've learned that Jason can drop below my already extremely low expectations of his intelligence...who knew?
That Sam is the most loyal friend I've ever seen.
That Sam has much more money that I expected for the shape his trailer is in.
That Sam knows enough to spend that money on one hell of a safe.
That I spend way too much time thinking of Sam.
That Bill should keep a solar blanket nearby for when he wants to take a walk in the sun...Bill, they're really reflective and damn useful!
Bill...sunscreen...spf 1,000,000...think about it if you don't want to use the blanket.
That Sookie has no clue how to treat a man, much less a crispy vampire. Really girl, you should've waited for him by the gravesite with a case of Tru Bloods and your willing arm.
That not even Eric and Pam can control one little girl...hmm...Bill, you're screwed!
That Jessica is one hell of a little girl!!!
--
I'm a fair, fragile flower of femininity...and if you don't believe me, I'll rip your face off!
--
Edited by Wildcelt at 11/25/2008 1:43 PM PST
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Posts:
29
Registered:
11/15/08
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(934 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 8:50 AM
Rate this post:
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I have learned (during the night when I am in flu, and I cannot sleep) that in True Blood name is an Omen, so let?s see what the core is behind the characters by C. Harris. Pick your choice...
Eric:
Literal:
Old Norse, comes from words forever, alone+ruler=forever ruler. Name of many Scandinavian kings.
Urban :
A Ball breaker
An old Highland Cow that likes to smoke weed
A man with big penis
Charming, strong man
The homosexual spelling of the name Erik.
Little by little
Loud alpha male
A term used to describe a mentally retarded cat that has the ability to fly by moving its tail in a circular motion.
A white nerd boy
Man who likes men but tries to pretend he doesn't by constantly surrounding himself with the opposite sex.
William, nickname Bill
Literal:
Old German, comes from words will, desire+ protect, helmet=desire to protect. Name of many kings and common in royal families.
Urban:
The perfect boyfriend
The skin on a circumsized penis where the tip and the shaft meet, which is sensitive.
A loser, williamesque
A charismatic, handsome, and chivalrous gentleman of high upbringing
That sensation you have when you feel a sneeze coming
Thing that comes in the mail every month
A guy who's amazing at giving women head. A true cunninglinguist.
A complete wanker with no friends what so ever. Usually from New Zealand.
To be alone
Someone who has selective hearing
Occasionally chased after by males but rejects them certainly. Not associated with homosexuality.
To force someone into participating in an activity, to bill
Boxer shorts
Total stud
Sookie:
Literal:
May be variant of Susan, Hebrew meaning lily or lotus
This name has many faces, depending on pronunciations...
Urban:
The act of being a crybaby.
Making out, having sex
The act of sticking your finger up someone's butt, to do an ?oil check?
The act of giving a blowjob.
American :
A Hog or Pig call in Arkansas (Pig Sooie)
International:
Love
Bitch
Anything good.
A condom brand, cheap but not very good quality, may cause irritation.
A large wave.
Tara
Literal:
Gaelic or Sanskrit, means hill;star, ?stone of destiny?
Urban:
Drop dead gorgeous, legendary
To firmly grab ass
A person whose diet consists only of chips
A girl who is beautiful, somebody you want to meet
A girl with severe drug abuse problems
A narcissistic megalomaniac
The act of installing trojan ladden software on a friend's computer when they are not paying attention.
Sam:
Literal:
Hebrew, means God has heard, requested of God.
Urban:
Uncle Sam
A dog voted the world's ugliest dog for three years running
Socially Awkward Male
Person who is super at masturbation
Given to people who are very cool
Girls? name
A male who demonstrates extreme female qualities i.e. crying in public
A Jewish Asian gorilla who enjoys high fiving people
A male who has a fast and easy ex-girlfriends
Sexy Attractive Male
A huge turd in Detroit sewer system
Stupid Arsed Motherfucker
A person you engage in general conversation, and he gives frequent interruptions in the form of childish outburst of random sounds.
Surface to Air Missile
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Posts:
3
Registered:
11/24/08
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(933 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 8:40 AM
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> And I've learned:
>
> that no one ever notices the disappearance of a
> creepy, pedophile uncle.
Nor, apparently, the disappearance of vampire Eddy.
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Posts:
148
Registered:
9/15/05
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(932 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 8:33 AM
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Great job everyone!
"That people on the *right* side of the tracks in Bon Temps have mute asian servants who steal your cell phone" Love it!
And I've learned:
that no one ever notices the disappearance of a creepy, pedophile uncle.
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Posts:
9
Registered:
11/17/08
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(931 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 3:58 AM
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I've learned
-that Andy leaves his keys in his car
-that Bon Temps cemetary workers dig graves by hand...and then don't put their shovels away
-that Fellowship of the Sun literature is a pretty dull read
-that Terry smokes
-that Sam has a very fancy safe, but only has a garbage bag to stuff his money in
-that Merlotte's workers are too lazy to throw the trash in the dumpster
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Posts:
1,413
Registered:
9/15/08
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(930 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 3:40 AM
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I want bill to kiss my boo boo
--
As the humans say, the humans you love more than your own kind. Back your shit down!
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Posts:
87
Registered:
10/21/08
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(929 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 1:26 AM
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I learned that Terry smokes joints outside Merlotte's and hides them behind his back when Sam comes by looking for Sookie.
...and that nobody ever listens to Terry,....but they should.
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Posts:
98
Registered:
9/30/08
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(928 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 25, 2008 12:00 AM
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I've learned:
--that "sometimes good shit happens too" equals hot black man who plays guitar living with me in the rich maenid's crib
--that the people on the *right* side of the tracks in Bon Temps have mute Asian servents who steal your cell phone
--that pigs may be safer pets than cats if you're being stalked by a fake-cajun psycho (can you imagine that PIG tied headless to a ceiling fan? I don't think so!)
--that humans with 3rd degree burns require years of treatment, skin grafts, and medicines in state of the art facilities in order to survive while vampires with the same injury just need to be buried in dirt for half a day
--that Bill is very forgiving but Sookie really isn't
--that Bill is now a "daddy"
--that even Eric has trouble handling Jessica, which tells me that we are in for some mischief from that one!
--that the idea of a vampire-human wedding brings out the sarcasm in Sam
--that if you're gonna be murdered and left to rot in the back of Andy's car, it's nice if you can paint your nails first
--that you can not show up to work for two weeks before Sam considers firing you
--That Lafayette enjoyed a short career as a go-go dancer
--that Bon Temps has had more murders in the past few months than in the rest of the entirety of it's history put together
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Posts:
695
Registered:
10/18/08
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(927 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 24, 2008 11:43 PM
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> sundaynitebite: A smart man knows the seductive power
> of boo boo kissing, complementing some small detail
> of a woman's appearance, and saving her life.
Amen sister!
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Posts:
686
Registered:
9/4/08
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(926 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 24, 2008 11:41 PM
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sundaynitebite: A smart man knows the seductive power of boo boo kissing, complementing some small detail of a woman's appearance, and saving her life.
--
There are favors, and there are *favors.* ~ Eric
~*~ Only a vampire can love you forever.~*~
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Posts:
695
Registered:
10/18/08
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(925 of 939)
Re: Things I've learned from watching True Blood
Nov 24, 2008 11:19 PM
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> I learned that Bill kisses boo boo's.
I know!! i wish he would kiss mine!!
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